A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm hoping I can get some answers to this question considering this guy would be my first ever boyfriend.My boyfriend and I had been planning for a week and a half about him coming over to spend the weekend with me at my parent's house. (He lives three hours away.) I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up considering he has cancelled for the last three times we've tried to get together. The reasons are as followed1. He was sick2. The weather was really bad and he said his parents wouldn't let him drive here.3. He didn't have all weather tires on his car, so it resulted in getting stuck in his own drive-way.4.*Friday evening* He had to do chores so he couldn't leave right away plus he apparently had a dentist appointment saturday morning.One of my problems would be his age. I'm 16 and he's 19 and he is attending college and working at Meijer's and he still lives with his parents. Is there anyway I can press this issue without making him mad?Now here comes the good part...After he cancelled I decided to go out to dinner with one of my friends. She decides to text my boyfriend, on my phone the following "This is so dumb..you need to stop making up exscuses and actually make an effort to see your girlfriend!" she sent a few more and added "Yeah..you should put that into consideration."With that said, my boyfriend now thinks that was me talking the entire time even though my friend at the beginning she said "Hey this is ______."As a result, I have not texted my boyfriend since friday night. I asked him if he was mad and his text reply was "just a little." then he added "I don't like being accused of things like not coming or not trying to come to see you." We made plans that night to talk on the phone to patch things up but I ended up going to bed crying over it b/c he never called me back. I've called him about 3 times this weekend and left two voice messages. I called his work this morning but I'm pretty sure he transfered me to another person since he can do that. Any advice on how to better handle this would be great. I'm also concerened if he would break up with me or if he will just be mad for a while.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): No matter how difficult this might be, you will have to stop making contact with him. Wait until he calls you. If he loves you, cares for you and values you he will. The more desperate you are going to be, the better the chances that you will loose him. Guys don't like girls to behave like that. It makes them react the opposite to what you want. I think you should go out with your friends and have fun, but don't allow them to send messages on your behalf, it will only make matters worse. Don't sit and wait to hear from him and when he does contact you be nice and happy. Don't then complain and be miserable. He must wonder what you are upto and be worried and concerned why you are not nagging to see him or trying to contact him.
I think you need to just start enjoying your life, if you see him fine, if he does not make more effort to be with you or contact you, find someone else who will appreciate you and treat you they way you deserve to be treated.
Don't worry to much, we all make mistakes, but the secret is to learn from our mistakes.
In relationships and dealing with guys, always remember the words of Arnold Glasow:
"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg...not by smashing it".
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