A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend nearly two years and first tried penetrative sex about 6 months ago, but I don't get any pleasure from it. I come when I do other things with him (oral, etc) but penetration for me does not feel nice or sexy at all, I lie there waiting for it to end. I have tried both with him on top and me on top, but it doesn't feel pleasureable either way. We have done it maybe around 15 times.I don't know why any girls bother with sex if it's like this for everyone, is there some secret to it I don't know? My boyfriend wants me to have penetrative sex more because he enjoys that one the most, but I enjoy it the least, and I feel confused and disappointed because I had expected it to be great. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): "But she usually orgasms when I perform oral sex on her. So you are not alone in that you come from oral sex but not regular sex. Lots of women have that problem."
It's not a problem, it's common! Most women don't orgasm from penetrative sex because the vagina has very few nerve endings (could you imagine how much it would hurt to have kids if it were sensitive????). The clitoris is as sensitive as the penis.
What you could do is that when you're having sex, depending on the position, you or your bf could rub your clitoris.
A
male
reader, Enquirer  +, writes (26 April 2008):
What is it about penetrative sex that you don't like? Does it hurt, or is it really uncomfortable or something like that? Lots of women cannot orgasm from regular sex, but it usually feels good to them. My girlfriend is 54 and she has had an orgasm from regular sex only once in her entire life, and that was with me about six months ago. But she usually orgasms when I perform oral sex on her. So you are not alone in that you come from oral sex but not regular sex. Lots of women have that problem.
What you might do is see a doctor who specializes in sexual dysfunction, or maybe talk to your gynecologist
to see if they might be able to identify what might be causing this. It could also be psychological. Or it might be that you are not aroused enough when your boyfriend penetrates you, and you might need more foreplay.
Also, he should try giving you an orgasm from oral sex, then do the penetrative sex after that. That might make the sex feel better for you.
Also, what other things besides oral sex make you come?
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