A
female
age
36-40,
*oneyLottie
writes:Hi, My situation is not very dramatic but its difficult for me to know what to do. My partner is Spanish and I am English, we have been together for 5 years now. Living together for 2 and have recently moved back to England to try and make a go of things here.My partner did not want to come to England but to make me happy he agreed to coming to see how things went. Our decision to come was mainly due to my mum that has an incredible talent of making things sound so peachy and easy but when it comes down to it does nothing but get stressy and huffy when she has to do you any favours.I want to go back to Spain with my partner, we were happy there but because my mum didnt aprove of my life over there I decided that I wanted to come back to England.My partner is away in Spain at the moment to see his family but is due back on Saturday. I miss him terribly but almost dont want him here because I know that my mum will start getting stressed again.I appreciate everything my mum does for me of course I do. But she makes me feel like I am incapable of making any life choices for myself, then because she doesnt aprove I feel down and try and do things her way, which of course angers my partner.My most recent dilema is pathetic I know, but I need advise anyway!There was a phone bill for 32 pounds of calls to Spain, I have already paid my mum the money leaving myself with nothing. I have looked at the bill today and 20 pounds of the calls are not ours. They were calls that my mum made to me while I was still over there.My partner is going to look at the bill upon his return and tell my mum that the calls are not his. Which is fair because if it was the other way around my mum would want her money returned. She is quite tight in that respect, and although it seems like a pety amount of money its all I have. I am literally without a penny.If it were for me I would just leave it but my partner wont, because to him it is my mums way of snatching money from us.Which isnt completely fair because for the last 3 months we are both out of work and living with her. I give her as much as I can every week to help towards food bills etc.My partner sees it as her fault that he has to be here because she is the one that filled my head with ideas of coming home when we were perfectly fine where we were in our apartment.What do I do?Mention it to her before he comes back to save the awkwardness between then when he returns?Or argue with him to shut up and leave it?It seems pety I know but its a silly thing that will cause more tension in an already sensitive relationship between them both.Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HoneyLottie +, writes (9 March 2009):
HoneyLottie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you very much for your advise I think that your right, I just needed somebody to tell me! lol
All I have to do now is have a huge row with my partner when he gets back! lol I understand why he gets angry at her, shes a difficult woman to please and everything to do with money always goes in her favour.
But thanks for your help, trully xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Think an attempt at 2 sensible conversations would help - firstly pointing out to him how much mum does for you in terms of money and secondly one with your mum to say why are you billing for phone calls you made?
however i think you need to decide if you want to be in spain or here - regardless of mum. its what you guys that counts.
Star.x.
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