A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner of almost two years has as three and half year old son with his ex wife. They split up when he was one and are divorced. I’ve never met her and I have to go out when she drops off her son. I have a really good relationship with him. My partner has told he he’s going to join them on holiday in Greece later this month and stay in a villa with them and his sister. He said he wants his son to see his parents together and make happy memories. Im I really wrong to be upset by this? He sees them together when they drop off and pick up and he could do days out with them at home. I know their son won’t have any memory of the nuclear family. I’ve offered to take his son on holiday with us both. I’ve asked if we could get a hotel near by so he could see them in the daytime and me. But he flatly refuses. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2022): A clear case of a man wanting his cake and eating it. He clearly hasn't told his ex that he is in a relationship with you, hence you leaving before she shows up. That is humiliating. I'd wish this fool well and move on. It is also disrespectful to tell you he IS attending a family holiday with his ex instead of discussing it with you so both of you can make the decision or how that would work without any hurt feelings on your end. He hasn't a care in the world for your situation.
This is not a relationship.
Don't be surprised if you find this guy still married or cheating on you with his ex.
Please save yourself the hassle and hurt and drop this loser.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 September 2022):
 Wish him well, OP
What he wants is to have his cake (you) and eat it too (playing happy family with his ex).
This will not stop.
His "ex wife" doesn't know about you. You have to LEAVE when she drops off her son. You are his DIRTY little secret.
Honey, want more for yourself.
Where there is nothing wrong with having an amicable relationship with your child's other parent - this is beyond that.
Just end it and wish him well. Find someone who WANTS you to be part of his life - his WHOLE life. Not just some side piece that he has to hide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2022): He doesn't want you and his 'ex'-wife to meet. For whatever reason. He sounds as if he is keeping up a facade of being single to his 'ex'-wife. For whatever reason, he does not want her to know of your existence. I would be surprised if any of this has anything to do with his son.
He has some vested interest still in his ex-wife and perhaps hopes for a reconciliation with her. OR it might be something to do with finances. When I was with someone who was divorced and we had his two children at the weekends, his ex-wife tried to drag my earnings into the calculations for her maintenance. My boyfriend and I were not married so this didn't happen, but this might also be a reason.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2022): Why doesn't he want his son to develop a relationship with you as his prospective stepmother? How is it so important for him to create a false-image of a connected family-relationship with his mother, now that they've divorced each-other? How is a two year-old going to develop memories about anything, when they have limited vocabulary and understanding?
"Partner" is a generic term. If you're not married to him, there's not much of a problem if you haven't been together very long. It probably means he's not as invested and committed to your relationship as he should be.
Something smells a little fishy. I've got to say, it makes no sense, and defies logic you've never met your husband's ex-wife; unless she lives in another country. Seems more to me he doesn't want her to meet you for some reason. I don't understand how he feels a child too young to understand anything will have any problem with you coming along on the vacation, if it's all about family.
Are you sure this man is divorced??? It's not unusual for men to have a wife in another country, and commit bigamy and marry in another without divorcing his last wife. Hope you've checked all public records to be sure the divorce is finalized. I think his explanation is questionable.
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