A
female
age
51-59,
*llipurple
writes:I really dont know what to do. I have been in a relationship with this guy 9 years my junior, usual story it was great at first, we have had lots of problems to be honest a lot he has caused, i could list a few incidences and in isolation, it doesnt look good;1, most arguements is from drinking2, drove my car and wrote it off while drink driving3, not worked for majority of relationship when living with me, i was the sole earner4. Doesnt get on very well with my eldest son,5, he once spat in my face6, kept things from me7, gets jealous8, moved to london so only saw him weekendsThats just some of it, it was worse at the start his temper, his moods , through it all we have maitained a very close and passionate relationship, sometimes i dont feel i have forgotten, but put it to back of my mind. Recently his watch went missing and swore blind he left it in my bedroom, i couldnt find it, so he then accused my eldest of stealing it, and for a whole week, he was treating it like "until that watch is found i dont trust" i said maybe its at your sisters when you went over there...drunk "No" i asked her its not there. Anyway valantines day we went over there and out the blue his sister said oh i found your watch in the bedroom!!! you can imagine my feeling and his face was a picture, so watch found, but what a way to go through agony of even starting to doubt my own son. And that really did change things for me, i have become more immune, i have cried enough over him. So when me and him have issues, they get worse. but we had it so good, now, its just got to that stage where i love him but we just cant talk anymore without rowing, i really believe he loves and cares for me, but is it enough? i was made redundant before xmas and just recently found a job, in all that time all the stress has he supported me? nope...i think i am just having problems letting go, and worried i wont love anyone as much as i did him, im 40 next year he is 31 next year. Help x feel free to be honest ask me questions thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): You could try going councelling with him (relate are brilliant) But me personally I would just try and let go. Yes it will be hard at first, but it does get easier. His using you, and he knows he can got away with it. No one should be treated the way his treating you, get rid of him.
Please let us know how you get on. Good luck x
A
female
reader, help SoS +, writes (30 April 2009):
i think if your goin 2 be with sum1 who doesnt care about, or respect u then u really need to think about what is best for you and your family! and think about the guys that get off their backside and support u financially aswel as jst u earning! hope this helps :) x
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