A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone,my husband and i got married this year jan 2009...so we have been married for almost 5 months now...and things are starting to go bad...he is in the military and i know now that military life is hard but thats not our problem....there's this girl that is stationed the same place as him,...well she likes him and knows he is married but wont just up...i told him i didnt care for him having girls as friends but not the ones that likes him...well he agreed to that and stopped talking to her..well thats what i thought...in three months i have fount her number in his pants pocket,in his cell phone under another name,and in his truck...well i called the girl and told her to leave him alone...well so far so good but nows theres another girl...she doesnt live near us..but she lives in our home town...she was sending him messages on myspace and he blocked her well what i didnt know was there have been talking on the phone while he is at work...he came home one day early from work and had a bad head ache so he went to sleep..well she called his phone and i answered but she wouldnt say anything so i called her back blocked...well everything hit the fan...now we fight all the time over other girls talking to him...i dont care for him talking to other girls but not the ones that likes him...someone please help me...how can i get him to stop talking to other girls and try to work on saving our marriage...i am only 23 and have already been divorce once...i really dont want to lose him at all...i love him with all my heart and he says he feels the same about me...we have agreed to forgive it other for all the stuff we have done to each other in the past and start over new...can anyone help me?
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female
reader, Sxydancr05 +, writes (18 May 2009):
Im going through almost the EXACT same situation! Except now I'm going to boot camp in less than a week to try to get some kind of income as well as finish school. And we agreed we would start over, clean slate, etc. But then two days ago, he tells me that he doesn't think he can be in a relationship right now because he is "too screwed up in the head" and doesn't feel like he's ready to have to answer to someone(about staying out all night, talking to a lot of random girls, etc.) Despite the fact that the only communication I will have with him for 3months is through letters, he still feels he will feel guilty about his actions and doesn't want to hurt me. So..when you figure out what to do and you think its a good answer, please let me know!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): What is your problem!? You sound like you are insecure and can't trust or allow your husband to speak any woman who may like him. You let him make female friends (how kind and gracious) but then when you discover they might like him he has to ditch them as a friend and never speak to them again.
Why don't you trust your husband? If you acted like this in your first marriage then no wonder it ended.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 May 2009):
 I understand why you don't want to divorce, because for you divorce = failure. But really, do you think the way your marriage is working right now is any good for you?
I would sit him down and tell him that you want him to talk to the chaplain about marriage counseling, the two of you will only benifit from this. The Army has some pretty decent programs to help soldiers and their families with issues such as this.
He might not consider what he is doing ( by talking to all these females) is cheating, but it is.
It sounds good that you both want to forgive and move on, but just because you both WISH it doesn't mean it will happen, not with out some outside help.
I've been an Army wife the last 10 1/2 year so if you have any question you can feel free to PM me.
Good luck, and don't give up, but don't let anyone walk all over you.
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