A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this chic in February while in a relationship with now ex. I met the chic from a site n wanted to get to know her, in a none sexual way. So we exchanged numbers and maybe within a week or so met. She seemed real cool. It was only 3mos later that I decided to cut off the friendship. I even told my at the time gf about her. The chic was constantly wanting to be around me n would get mad when I didn't wanna talk on the phone or wanted to get off the phone. She would always be kissing up to friends, really they just were using her financially. So I got tired of her, the fact that she was a follower n had no direction of her own. Prior to me getting fed up she invited me to a luxury hotel to chill, hell I thought if there's nothing funny gonna happen why not. She said the room was a double so I get my own bed. Ha, I fell for it. Yeah the room was a double but she played me by giving me the remote to the tv, only to wait til I fall asleep n get in the bed with me pretending to be getting the remote n changing the channel. I scurried to the other side of the bed repulsed. She came to attempting to cuddle me so I did karate in my sleep constantly moving. So after that night I didn't talk with her for a min., I began working out in march at the park n this chic would always try to come out there wanting to feed some freakin ducks. Knowing I have a weakness for animals. So I changed my workout schedule to 5am. Then a week or so prior to veterans day I cut the cord on her, not without her still calling n texting tho. Chic ended up texting me on v day saying happy veterans day. No offense to veterans but ppl don't really celebrate that like Christmas and New Years. N I never served in the armed forces, neither has any of my relatives. So I never responded n just kept my distance from her. Now, she's back on the site where I met her messaging me n visiting my profile repeatedly. I even believe she has been posing as other ppl to communicate with me bc the spelling is incorrect. Not that it couldn't be anyone else, but what should I do this been going on for months?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 WOW what a stalker. if things get really bad you may have to go to the police. hmm social networking sites are more friendship based but people do still trawl them for shags. thing is if she is turning up outside your house when she lives 25 miles away then that is very worrying.
i would speak to the police and ask them for advice on what to do if someone is stalking you. keep a record of any time she shows up where you live so that if things don't improve you have something to show to police should you have to get them involved.
this is a lesson that you are better off being honest with your real friends than looking for new friends on the net. i know of loads of people on facebook that i have never met in real life (ussually gay men i fancy) and i wouldn't consider meeting up with them unless i had a romantic interest in them. i know enough people i have met in real life that i'm friends with on facebook that i could happily live without to be bothered trying to make friends on the site. real friends are people you meet in real life who you have a feeling of fun and joy to be around.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I may need to clarify. My (at the time) gf and I decided it was okay to have gay friends because neither of us had any gay friends and our straight friends suspected us as straight as well, so this site allowed both of us the opportunity to be ourselves. The chick in question I stopped communicating with her in April. I waited til June went back on site with different profile no pic or obvious identity giveaways and the chick is still bounding me. Mind you with my last profile I never opened or responded to her messages. They remained unread in my inbox. The site is only a social networking site not a datingsite. I have personally informed her in March that we don't seem to have good understanding so she'd hum or sing when I would tell her I think our friendship isn't workingout yet she'd call the very next night. Not to mention when I totally cut her off in April completely she would do random drive bys at my house when she lives in another city 25 miles away. I'm not sure if she still comes by my house but she doesn't call. Sometimes she may text. N with my new profile, I may just take that one down too because she keeps visiting me.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (3 July 2011):
you are never going on a dating website to make friends, friendships happen naturally, dates don't so you have to make them happen as a gay or a dyke (too few opportunities and people you meet in bars are often not relationship material).
what i'm saying is that she always convinced herself that you were interested in her romantically or that there was a chance you two would get it on. may seem strange to you but it sounds logical to me that she would think that, even if it was a little deluded.
unfortunately i have realised in my own experience with someone at a class i went to that the only cure for a person who smothers you in the hope of love is to avoid them and do not contact them whatsoever. is it really that hard to remove your profile from the site? i would remove it and when the coast is clear put a new profile up a couple of months later. thing is that as long as she can send you messages and maybe if this site allows you to see when someone was last logged in ( like gaydar) then she imagines that you are reading these messages and that there is hope. which you dont want.
if your profile is gone she will have nowhere to direct her obsession and it will die like a tumour with the blood supply cut off. or beggin afresh on some new poor victim.
lesson learned dating sites are not for making friendships no matter what people may say on their profiles. people say they are looking for friendship as a get out clause to let someone down gently if they turn out to be butters.
you have seen how it goes down. kill the profile, let things settle, go back on there in a while under a different name when you think she has given up her pointless struggle against reality. and relax.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (3 July 2011):
 You neeed to block her and report her to the site.
Text her and tell her she needs to leave you alone or you will be informing the police of her harrassing you.
Ring your cell phone provider and have them block her number, if you tell them she is stalking you, it should be free.
If you see her in the park or street dont talk to her, just tell her you dont want to be friends then ignore her.
If she carries on ring the police.
Although next time if you dont like a girl, tell them straight away and dont use them by letting them take you to hotels and stuff. Gives out the wrong idea.
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (3 July 2011):
How about removing your profile from that particular site?
Does she still call and text?
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