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female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i have been married for 26 years have 3 grown children. My husband has always been a little flirter I think everyone does a little. We don't do anything together and are not really getting along very well any more, never talk, all that stuff. I went thru my husband's wallet which I've never did in 26 years of marriage, I don't know why I did, I guess just on a whim. Sure enough I found a note that said Once upon a time..... with a smiley face under it I know it was a girl's writing. it was very neat (unless he's gay) also the paper it was on I know 100% sure is from his work place. What is that stupid note supposed to mean I don't dare confront him he's a grouch. please some advice. By the way years ago he went thru my wallet otherwise I don't think I really would have done that. Please give me some advice on what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for your suggestions they really do help
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): I dont think that little note means anything.also it is normal to lose interest in sex after 26 years of marriage.most marriages turn to a partenership rather than a love affair after so many years.you could ask him what that little note refers to but without any incinuation of wrong doing. just ask out of curiousty to set your mind at rest.that is all.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Well thats nothing to go on really. It could be anything. What gave you the hunch to go through his wallet in the first place.
Normally I am the first person to cry CHEATER CHEATER...but you dont have proof of anything.
Until you do, I suggest you just keep it to yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): I feel like a better question is, why are you with a man that you clearly don't love anymore, or at least don't feel like making an effort to keep the relationship on steady ground (or any ground at all?). If it is an affair he's having, it's because not just he's a horndog, but there is something he is unsatisfied about at home, which you too seem to agree on. are you just with him to keep the kids satisfied? It almost sounds like you want an scapegoat to pin on him so that you can say it's over. I think you should think about your own role in his potential affair think about how you where you want to see yourself in the future, with him or not and confront him based on these discoveries.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Does he spend time at home, or does he make excuses to work late night after night? Does he make frequent "business" trips that involve overnight stays? These are all signs that he's having an affair either with someone from work, associated with his work, or someone he met while traveling for work. If he comes home every night, it may be nothing. Perhaps he thinks you don't find him attractive anymore. When's the last time you complimented him, flirted with him, did something sexy and somewhat unpredictable? As for the note, you could simply tell him you took his wallet out of his pants to do the laundry, and it fell out when you dropped the wallet accidentally. There now it's in the open and you don't have to appear to be snoopy. That will give you the chance to simply ask him what it's all about and who wrote it and then you'll know. I think if you still love your husband, you are going to have to work at "tending to your garden". Schedule things to do together. Find new places to dine; take in some shows, go to a bar and have a drink together, maybe listen to some music at a dark little jazz club. The only way to revive your marriage is to work at it. I wish you the best. xoxox
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (15 November 2009):
Does he spend time at home, or does he make excuses to work late night after night? Does he make frequent "business" trips that involve overnight stays? These are all signs that he's having an affair either with someone from work, associated with his work, or someone he met while traveling for work. If he comes home every night, it may be nothing. Perhaps he thinks you don't find him attractive anymore. When's the last time you complimented him, flirted with him, did something sexy and somewhat unpredictable? As for the note, you could simply tell him you took his wallet out of his pants to do the laundry, and it fell out when you dropped the wallet accidentally. There now it's in the open and you don't have to appear to be snoopy. That will give you the chance to simply ask him what it's all about and who wrote it and then you'll know. I think if you still love your husband, you are going to have to work at "tending to your garden". Schedule things to do together. Find new places to dine; take in some shows, go to a bar and have a drink together, maybe listen to some music at a dark little jazz club. The only way to revive your marriage is to work at it. I wish you the best. xoxox
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