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On holiday with her, but we both have partners back home... do I make a play for her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am going on vacation with a girl who I really like. Here is the problem, we both have significant others but it is just us going on the trip. We've been friends for a few years and I really want to be with this girl. I don't know for sure how she feels, and I don't want to alienate our friendship (or ruin our vacation) by trying something if she isn't receptive. Is there a good way for me to tell if she wants something to happen as much as I do? I have resolved that no matter what happens I will be breaking things off with my girlfriend, our relationship has run its course. Is my best course of action to talk it out with her? I welcome any suggestions!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009):

For anyone who reads this, nothing happened. I got the feeling that approaching that would not have been appreciated. We still had a great trip, and I think the fact that we spent a week together and didn't have any issues between us, speaks well for a possible future. I just have to take things in their proper order.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009):

Very valid point. Thanks for the advice d. This has been building for a long time. I think a heart to heart will be necessary even If nothing happens.

Thanks again!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

To add a little more depth to the problem I'm facing... My GF and the girl I like are roommates, which complicates everything quite a bit. I would prefer doing what everyone suggests and breaking things off first, the problem is timing. I know it sounds lame, but we leave on vacation Thursday and I will not get to see my GF before I go. I refuse to break up with someone over the phone or via text because we've been together for two and a half years, and that is just low in my book.

All my friends (even my parents) are telling me to go for it. As much as I want to, the consequences scare me. We will be spending a week alone together in Rome, and away from almost every form of communication back to the states. I know if something happens I will not want it to stop. Is it ok to say "damn the consequences" if both people feel the same way?

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