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Older guy and a younger woman on a rebound...can it work when their families are in different countries??

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Last year I started chatting to a man 7 years younger with the intention of friendship. He was distraught with his wife leaving for someone else, and I had left my husband so basically we hung out together, cried together etc. and we found that time just flew past as we were never short on conversation.

Just before I met him he had formed a close relationship with a woman he had worked with 15 years younger than him, and her marriage was on the rocks. Although we have resisted the sexual chemistry that he acknowledges is between us, he felt he would stay loyal to his new potential relationship (she is in another country and he has just got a job there, though his adult children and mother are here in the UK).

Over the course of a year we have been so supportive to each other by phone, spending hours in his flat at the week-ends, no sex or anything as much as I would have liked to. We tell each other all our personal stuff and feel comfortable doing that, yet he feels the relationship with this younger woman is something he has never known and what they have is special beyond all else.

What I am asking (mainly guys please), are relationships like he has with his woman likely to last on the rebound. He spends a months salary just to see her for a day. He has always been honest with me, kind, considerate, but I never expected to feel like this either, and my life without him feels like a dead place.

I am trying to move on, and he says he hopes we can stay friends. I dare not tell him how I feel as I know there is no competition, though apparently I look 10 years younger than my real age.

I don't want to be bitter, I do want him to be happy, but I am just so lonely as that space he filled in my heart is empty again. Is it likely, in your experience, that this relationship he is in can last?

View related questions: different countries, move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008):

My heart is going out to you; you are suffering the "loss" of a good friend; and must be feeling very lonely now without him; sharing so much with somebody closely for so long will most defintely leave a big gap; it will take time to get use to it and I suggest you stay in contact with him even if it is just by emai; no harm in hearing from him and staing in touch; no harm in remaining friends;

As for your question about the relationship between him and the younger partner ( I noticed you asked mainly guys to answer), but I thought to just let share this info with you;

I know of such relationships that did not work; sometimes when they are together it does not seem to last long; however, a very good friend of mine got married to his second wife, 18 years his junior almost 10 years ago and they are still very happy; I guess what I want to say is; you can never really tell; some works well, others don't.

Take good care of yourself and stay in touch with your friend.

Best wishes.

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