A
male
age
,
*onfused in NC
writes:There is a very nice very attractive lady at work. She works in a separate area and we seldom saw each other until lately. Knowing she's not maried, I asked her to lunch. We had an enjoyable meal and both of us agreed to do it again. I asked her again but due to busy schedules, we haven't been able to get back together for 2-3 weeks. I asked her out to dinner only to find out she is "seeing someone else and it wouldn't be appropriate". I do not know how serious they are or how long they've been together.But she says she still wants to do lunch once our schedules get better (assumably as friends/ coworkers), hence the root of the conflict.Since I haven't had a relatationship in some time (and never married), I enjoy her company even as a friend but how should I handle it? Is there any harm in doing a casual lunch? I could easily fall for her and not get that in return. Or I could cause her great conflict in her current relationship or having to choose. That could be bad for our working relationship. Could she be interested in me (as much or more than him) and is just flirting, wanting to get to know me better too?If I don't pursue her I'll never know and will always wonder what if...What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): Hi I think you should continue with the lunches and see if she changes her mind on the dinners, us women sometimes need time.I'm developing a friendship with someone at work who has a partner and I do too, but I prefer this guy at work so maybe hang in there and see what happens, we all have to keep our options open for one reason or another, good luck and remember all's fair in love and war;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): To protect your heart I would advise perhaps don’t do lunch, yea lunch is not really a date, but you know yourself you know how you feel in your heart, only you would be able to tell if this will be good for you or not, it doesn’t sound like se sees you like anything more than just a lunch partner, and this could cause you a lot of pain in the future and am sure that you don’t want that.So try your best to forget about this woman, and find yourself someone who would love to go have dinner with you, someone that would hold your hand while you walking down the street, we all deserve someone to love, but only a few of us will actually experience it, so put on your dancing shoes phone up some friends and get out go meet yourself good girl.Good luck on this one and listen to what your heart is saying, and do let me know what you decided on.
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