A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i met a guy a few weeks ago, after 2 dates he told me that he really did like me but would not be able to marry me due to family reasons, but i could have him as a boyfriend and live with him as long as i wanted. he also added that he had an ex girlfriend that would do anything for him but he couldnt marry her either. dont know if that was to make me jealous or what but it all had the opposite effect and i said ok then im leaving. He asked me not to leave and that he didnt want to lose me but i did saying i would not just want a long term boyfriend. He then said what if he changed his mind so i said he would have to let me know and he said he would think about everything i said and get back to me. I said ok but i would not be waiting around. It has now been 10 days and i just want some closure. Has anyone got any advice plz?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): It seems to me that the minute you let him know you were not a pushover, he needed for the hills. So good for you. He's off to find some girlfriend who will fit this bill that he has. No doubt he'll some poor girl who is a bit insecure and prepared to settle for his idea of a relationship. He sounds totally selfish and unreasonable. Just forget him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I wouldn't love to know anything about this guy. He sounds like a nutcase. 2 dates and he talks about marriage, run, run away!!!
Look, comparing your ex to a new date is a red flag, frankly it's a weird thing to do. Talking about not being able to marry someone after 2 dates is downright creepy. Talking about losing someone after only knowing them a couple of weeks is just insane.
You want closure? This guy is simply not relationship material, there's your closure. 10 days and nothing, that's that then. Game over. Please just chalk this down as a lesson learned. You'll meet lots and lots of weirdos out there and this guy was one of the weirdest I've heard of. You dodged a bullet this guy is a completely weird creep and just has no idea what he's doing. Be glad you're free of his crazy mind games, really he's just weird.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I would feel affronted too if someone imposed conditions and then told he how another girl was only too eager to meet them. It's a manipulative thing to say. It sounds like you did the right thing.
But the way he's laid out his conditions, if you want more than to be another LTR to him, then he has to consider marrying you from the very beginning. I don't know how you feel about him, but it's a pretty hypothetical and heavy question to ask after two dates.
If he hasn't gotten back to you yet, he may have decided he didn't want to try dating you because it wouldn't be "easy" or because marriage is in fact a deal breaker for him.
I don't know if this speech he gives is a routine he goes through with all women, because it does sound like a line.
You probably just saved yourself a huge headache. Let him go.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Yup, I have some advise, dust your hands off and put it down to experience. So far I think you responded to this fool appropriately ... although I would LOVE to know what his family reasons were!
Notch him up as one of life's odd bods and move on, he was probably trying it on and it backfired on him.
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