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age
30-35,
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writes: Hello everyone!I'm caught in an odd situation--I broke up with my best friend/boyfriend a month ago. I loved him so much. Bad breakup. Long story. I was heartbroken (please don't tell me that because I'm 15 it's not love... I've heard it before).2 days later, a friend asked me to prom (as a friend) and I agreed to go to get my mind off this terrible breakup. Prom was fun, and I'm definitely attracted to the guy I went with, so we were bf and gf maybe three times, on and off, in 2 weeks.In one of those weeks and this past week, I started to realize I had feelings for another ex I've not yet mentioned. He felt the same way. We started casually hanging out, kissing, etc. Not a big deal.I've only ever kissed 2 guys, the ex I'm getting over and the ex I'm half-way going out with. What do I do about the friend I'm attracted to?I'm not in a position to be in a relationship right now (not over my ex completely, I'll be away all summer, etc) and I just wanna enjoy this. I don't like feeling like I can't make out with whoever, and I'm really curious about this guy I went to prom with.All 3 guys mentioned know all of this. I've discussed the issue with all of them. How do you suggest I proceed? Stay with the guy I'm kind of with? Get with him officially? Go out with the other guy? Both? Help!Thank so much and sorry it's so long...-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for all your advice!
A few of you said be single and no contact with them. These 3 guys (ex1, ex2, and prom date) are already 3 of my like 5 closest friends. Would the no contact be absolutely necessary? I'll miss my friends over the summer!
Thank you so much!
-GG
A
female
reader, DearVicki  +, writes (13 June 2009):
If i where you i would use the summer away to get me head clear. You are clearly confused about who and what you want.
you are still young and you can clearly have any guy you want so just slow down! this summer whist you are away enjoy yourself. dont call any of them and dont let them call you.
just take some time to think about who is best suited for you. think about the reasons why you broke up with the other ex's there must have been a good reason and chances are if you get back together things wont have changed.
the new guy that you went to prom with seems to just be someone that is there for the rebound and you are definatley not ready to start a new relationship yet.
so just take some time out to be yourself with no boy trouble, and when you get home you will feel much better and able to make a much wiser decsion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): I think you should stay single for a while until you're over your ex. You don't want this guy to end up being the 'rebound', even unintentionally. When you're ready to start dating again and still feel the same way about this guy, then sure give it a go and see where it ends up. But just be prepared that he might not wait around long.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Choose the one you like the best, i'd go with the friend to whom you're attracted to because then there is no past baggage.
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female
reader, hearthelper  +, writes (13 June 2009):
um, lucky you. I wish i was in that situation!
Guys really have no problem dating many girls at the same time when they're not officially committed to anyone. So you can do the same. At least your open and honest with the men.
I say keep being honest with them but don't expect them to wait for you. Cause the will lose interest in someone who's not interested in them and believe me they will find someone else who is amazing and move on. If there is a relationship that is really important to you, don't ruin that one, because once it's broken its almost impossible to repair. Men can hold grudges forever! Women seem to forgive more easily.
Don't cheat. Treat everybody with love and care and respect, and decide who you just can't live without. Maybe you should be single this summer if you really can't decide, but i warn you, the guys might be gone by fall.
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