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male
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anonymous
writes:Dated this girl. We're both adults. I asked her out a couple of time and she always asked to see me again the next day for a movie or whatever so things were great. She says she digs me so much and I dig her. She kisses me. She says she's not ready for a relationship so... Ouch(!) and now, a week later, she's going out with this other guy!What a nutter. I'm dumbfounded. She tells me how crazy she is about me one minute but scared of a relationship and then she's dating this goon. When did this happen? She couldn't have been dating him when she was dating me. What is up with these women?Anyway, we don't talk to each other anymore and as much as it hurts, I don't think I want to see her again. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, NightLad +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Hi there,
As much as it may suck to hear, she may have been speaking in the heat of the moment and then later reconsidered her feelings. She may have just been trying to spare your feelings and let you down easy. Of course, she may also happen to be a “serial-dater”; somebody who goes out with people once or twice but breaks it off when they find themselves falling in love. Maybe she has an aversion to commitment or a fear of falling in love. Regardless, these people don’t want to be “alone” either, so they compensate by going on dates; one after the other after the other...
In any case, if she is not going to go out with you again, then she isn’t. All you can do is try not to take it personally. In the dating world you are bound to meet some people with issues (whatever they may be) which impedes their ability to connect with you in a stable type of way. Just chalk this experience up to one of those unfortunate meetings and try to move on. She clearly has. Good luck to the next guy she says “I really like you” to, right bud?
Now, I want to touch on the title of this post and your suggestion that guys “come out of the closet” so as not to deal with “crazy women.” I’m gay. What that basically means is that my ability to be attracted to people in a more-than-platonic sense, emotionally and physically, is directed at members of my own gender. For me, it’s been this way ever since I can remember.
Being gay has nothing to do with swearing off women because of being burned once too many times. Sexual Orientation isn’t a choice one can make. Remember; gay guys get burned in love too! And we have a much smaller fishing pool. Love is love, with all the same pitfalls and foibles that you experience.
Try not to let the experience jade you toward casting your line again. Somewhere out there, I bet there is a perfect girl for you wondering why she keeps dating crazy a-holes. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you both just gave up on dating before you could meet?
That said, taking a break from the dating scene may be a good idea. No need to ‘swear off’ the hunt, but even a pro gamesman needs to head back to camp for some downtime. Chill with your buds and get your head out of the game for a bit, then, when you are ready, get back in with a recharged battery and a clear perspective on what you want.
Good luck, man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhoever approves the questions on this site: Can you please change the title? It really isn't indicative of the input I'm looking for and I really need advice.
Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify: I'm not a closet homosexual but I certainly understand all those guys giving up on these crazy women.
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 look. I just dated a man that did the same thing.
I am still recovering from all the bullshit and lies that came from his mouth. Its not just women.
Men do the same thing. It's all about the individual person. I miss my guy so much, but refuse to contact him.
It hurt as hell so your not the only one going through it.
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