A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i was married for over 12years until my husband went back to his fiance from 15yrs ago...since then (and even during our marriage) i have been approached by many guys obviously only after one thing...but i have been single for nearly 2yrs now and still not even been on a date...im not ugly or a bad person but still feel like there must be something wrong with me if no one wants me :( am i worse than i thought or just destined to be alone
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 While you don't go into much detail, I think it may be your perception that men only want one thing from you: sex.
You may be harboring a resentment against men in general, mainly due to the betrayal that your ex-husband did to you. This resentment may be manifesting in your outward demeanor. Meaning, your resentment is warding off guys because they fear you or you may not feel approachable but nonverbal queues and your attitudes towards dating and meeting new people.
I think you need to realize that the single / dating scene is rough. You are going to have to weed through a lot of frogs to find your prince. Hence, the plethora of dating sites out on the web.
If I were you, I'd start to work on your self-esteem and making yourself approachable. Men aren't the enemy and they'll pick up on any non-verbal signals that you may be sending (we aren't as dense as we may seem). Keep positive and remember that at the end of this (rough) journey, you'll likely find a man worth keeping and you'll realize it was worth the effort after all.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Well you have been approached, so there is something about you that draws others in.
Have you joined any online dating groups or social groups?
Just get out there with some activities and enjoy people again without the goal of being "wanted" or in a relationship.
If you join a dating website, be prepared to spell out clearly what you are looking for and what you have to offer!
I doubt anything is wrong with you, it is just that the dating standards of the world have changed in the last 15 yrs.
I am also 40 and dating again. I am on a break now because sometimes men just expect too much! My standards have changed and do not meet up with the general population. SO, it will take me long, and I need to have more patience, but I am certainly not going to settle.
Neither should you!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): Your self-esteem took a huge knock when your ex-husband went back to his fiance, like the 12 years with you didn't mean anything to him.
I doubt you are ugly but I think when they meet you most people can probably tell you have low self-confidence and it makes them not want to get to know you better. I know it's harder to do than say but maybe you should try and work on raising your self-esteem, start by looking at and recognising the things you are good at and take it from there.
...............................
|
