A
female
age
41-50,
*oonlitlady
writes: My husband and I have a very good sex life. I'm open, he's open, and we both seem to enjoy it equally. It hasnt always been this way however. We have a 7yr old and a 18 month old and the last year has been just getting back to normal. I gained over 100lbs with this pregnancy from complications but have lost 60lbs so far.I have had a lot of insecurities in the past and have overcome a lot. In fact I'm more comfortable with myself than I ever have been. Our sex life seems to have never been better, but he has sexual dreams every night almost. Hes very verbal sometimes saying someone elses name. His thrusting wakes me up and he seems even more "free" so to speak in his sleep antics than he is in our waking moments. I understand being human. I've had these dreams too, but this is re-ocurring and has been going on for almost a year now. There is no lack of sex. I dont understand and am very hurt. I've worked real hard on my own body insecurities and feel unnatractive and dis-heartened. What should we do. I dont want to feel alone with this problem.
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female
reader, moonlitlady +, writes (27 April 2010):
moonlitlady is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo in the past we hadnt had as much as he like but over the last months its almost as if we have switched and I want it more. We have sex often in the morning when he wants it. He says he completley surprised and happy by our frequent lovemaking and almost cant keep up with me now. I am more worried about the dreams latly because we've been having more sex and communicating with each other on that level more. He says he doesnt even remember these dreams or antics when hes sleeping. I also have looked in to that more. I found some interesting things on Sleep Sex (SBS) A lot of this seems to fit and now I'm not sure what to do. He wants to talk to a Dr. I'm not sure because of the meds I've read about associated with SBS. He also takes blood pressure meds. I'm super confused.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): Are you sure he is getting as much sex as he'd like? I know you say you have a very good sex life but does your idea in terms of frequency match his? Rarely are both partners the same and one normally wants it more or less than the other.
For example in the past my partner thought we had a very good sex life having sex twice a week but I was going insane as it just was no where near enough for me and I knew that more wasn't something that would happen.
Whatever the deal is I don't think you need to feel bad or worry about it. It is something out of his control and is probably no reflection on you whatsoever. If you are worried there is something amiss in the bedroom then talk to him and ask.
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