A
female
age
36-40,
*ovely15
writes:I really, really like this guy that I work with and he seems to like me. We've been on a date to the movies and he's come over to my place twice we made out and talked for hours... so much fun. He's very affectionate and we're having fun getting to know each other better. As I get to know him, I'm finding out more about him.. one thing that is troubling is that he's never had a girlfriend and he's 23. I was VERY surprised because he's very, very attractive, very affectionate, smart, kind, funny, not pressuring me into having sex and basically, just seems too good to be true. I keep thinking, "What girl wouldn't want him!?" Which makes me think that HE hasn't WANTED to be in a serious relationship, which then makes me wonder how many girls have been in the position that I'm in right now?? I asked him why he hasn't had a gf and he says it's because he's just lived his life and it's just never happened. I asked him what he's been doing all this time... one night stands?... dates? ... what? He said that that's pretty much what he's been doing. Which makes me wonder if he is even interested in a serious relationship eventually. If I've learned anything about relationships, it's that you can tell a lot about someone from their past. I'm really scared because I'm really enjoying my time with him and really want to be open with him about how I feel but I'm really scared that he'll just turn out to be a player... who I work with.... that i really like and that I will be stuck feeling like a fool probably like all of the past girls that he's been with. BUT I could be totally of base... painting my future with fear. I don't want to ruin anything with him if I'm just being insecure and need a reality check.
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Well I'm not one to tell you not to be very careful, but on the other hand: it's not ok to ruin something that could be great, just because you were unsure.
There are many, many, many possible outcomes to being in a relationship with him, but you have absolutely no way of knowing what they are, until you try. You may end up hurt, he may end up hurt, you may both end up hurt, or no one's hurt... but either way, all it is, is both of you learning from one another. And life is too short to pass up any opportunity, especially when you don't have a looking glass.
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