A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I have not been lucky with love. I have never had a boyfriend nor sex. I have come to accept that for me, relationship is not in my way. Probably because I am disabled.Unfortunately,my heart just will not listen my problem. I keep getting crushes and I still get hurt. Now I have a crush on a friend, I knew for about six months. I know he has a LDR girlfriend because he me told me. I have been flirting with him and now he seems to be flirting back. We normally chat for at least an hour on phone, text each other and talk about 'family' issues. Yesterday, he replied to my message at 6am! I was surprised and started wondering what he is thinking. Could he be starting to feel something for me? And please help me advise me on how best to stay single and happy because that is my destiny. Thank you.
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crush, disabled, flirt, never had a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2014): I agree that you should google too. There's tons of people who'll accept you and related with you online. Also, there is nothing to fear or feel ashamed of for dating online. Anyway, what I really wanted to address was the crush. I'm trying to get over a crush who's also in a LDR myself, and believe me, thinking about him not only causes me more misery, but is not helpful for my confidence, self-esteem and health either. Thinking about him will not help you progress any further. He might seem like the ONE, but you could probably find an even better ONE online, ONE who's ALSO looking for a relationship and is completely available! Sorry if this disheartens you, but the text at 6am may have been due to the fact that he only saw the message then? Or had just woken up to find an unanswered message on his phone that morning? Or because that was the only time in which he could answer? There's too many different reasons for that and you can't base his attraction on the timing of his messages. My LDR crush used to answer timelessly and enthusiastically, even at 1am, but he never ever felt anything more towards me. He was simply a polite person. It could be a similar case. Also, ask yourself if you'd really like to be with a guy that'd potentially cheat on his long distance girlfriend... He should not be flirthing with you. Or you might be mistakenly interpreting his replies with flirting... Either way, would you like it if you were in her shoes, trusted him, were seeing him, and he was busy flirting with other girls? If he seems like that sort of guy, think twice about letting his flirting flatter and get to you. Just tell yourself to rather move on and get googling! Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): i agree with the other poster. u should google it, there are a number of dating sites geared toward people with disabilities. so do not let being disabled hinder u!
as for the guy with the LDR. I say stop flirting, and keep him as a friend only. I do not want you getting hurt by that and his girlfriend doesn't deserve that either.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (3 May 2014):
I don't know how to stop waiting normal human urges. I do know that being disabled can be hard on your love life. I have a friend who is in a wheelchair and had less luck with women before his injury than after. He's a great guy though and does occasionally meet someone who looks past his wheelchair.
I think he often has women who like him but due to the technical difficulties of his disability they feel like it makes more sense to date someone else.
I also met a woman who was in a wheelchair and met a man and got married, even started a family. You don't mention your disability, but these are just examples.
It is possible to meet people, you just need a ton of patience. Maybe good Google skills too. I'd be surprised if there wasn't a website for people with disabilities to find love.
Good luck, don't give up, be patient.
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