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Never had a boyfriend and I'm feeling really pathetic

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2011) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I never dated anyone, never been really approached by anyone - I won't mentioned the weirdos in the trains that use to hit on everything wearing a bra - and I sometimes told a guy of my feelings, just to be rejected every time. I stopped counting the rejections after a while unless when I'm peculiarly sleepy. Like last time I've been honest with a guy, he just stopped talking to me for a few days, then gave me the usual line, "it's flattering but {please insert here the reason of your choice}" and then started to tell me about this girl he likes and blah blah blah, as if I was his new best friend ever and that I just needed a soccer shirt and a beer to be complete. No need to say I felt quite bad. It was maybe three years ago, and since then I gave up on confiding that kind of things.

So basically I just keep things to myself now, knowing that yeah, it can be Hollywood in my head but it'll rather be Hiroshima in real life. I mean, I'm not that shy when it comes to befriend people, the problem is that I can't even hold a guy's hand without feeling awful. I'm feeling really pathetic confiding this but I have to say that when this guy took my hand at a party, looking at me seriously and all, I just got red and withdrew my hand and laughed, thinking he drank too much (which is a perfectly reasonable assumption considering the guy, but still). I mean, I'm that low and pathetic, just holding someone's hand is too hard for me. (Gosh I feel bad but hey, I said/wrote it...)

Another painful thing, it's the kind of dichotomy between genders. How often did I hear / read: "Come on, a girl never needs to look for a guy". Yes she can. Otherwise they wouldn't be any single girl anywhere, and at least where I come from (Paris) and live (Ireland), there are. I won't get into this debate but I see people in the street that I myself consider rather plain or ugly, and they're with someone, proof that beauty lies in… you know the sentence I guess. So that's what I'm looking for, a blind guy :-p (I'm joking) And my friends are not really helpful, they just kind of think it's normal for me to have no one, I guess.

This issue aside, a bit about me; I'm French, I live in Ireland, I work in languages and stuff, I don't have hobbies so far (I just moved in here) and not friends at all (they're all in Paris) but I hope it's going to change soon.

View related questions: best friend, bra , moved in, shy

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