A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had dated a guy 3 to 5 months and was totally into him and he too was ready to commit.But somethings got messed up and now we don't have any contact with each other.I really don't understand what happened as he didn't give me good reason for anything and the decision of splitting was from his end.He was too good when we were together was never rude and even when he said we should not see each other and few days after splitting also but too rude at the end, yelling over phone nearly compelling me to stop contacting him.I had dated few(3) people before and have a bad experience of getting ignored at the end but I was hardly this much serious.It has been 4 to 5 months now, I still get up at night hoping he would call me,checking my phone and everything will be fine from both ends. Sometimes I want to get back to him and nearly fancy about him all the time, can't concentrate in anything neither I can share this with anyone who can help me out.I am having a down phase in life in other ways also but can understand I don't have the strength to fight with either of them.How to get back to myself ,gain back strength and stop thinking about him?What according to you is the reason that people think I am interested at first and then their mind gets changed? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for your advices and concerns , I will kip in mind all those and including to viona's post,its true i am occasionally somewhat emotional.if it is the issue, i will try to take care of it.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (7 March 2011):
 A lot of guys at this age are just afraid of growing up and commitment, and as soon as things get more serious they freak out and end the relationship. It's stupid and hurtful but it has nothing to do with you.
Just let him go and try to move on as best you can. And when you meet the next guy find out as soon as you can if he is done with his player days and ready to settle down or not before you give him your heart.
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A
female
reader, viona  +, writes (7 March 2011):
May be you wont like my words but u said that this situation was repeated before..so there is a problem in you..treating with your partener may be you are too emotional ,,i dont know your traits..but the one who leaves you behind doesnt deserve to think about him a minute..live your life enjoy it..you will meet the one who'll make you happy..GOD PUT These obstacles in your way just to make you learn..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): I'm actually going through a breakup myself and I know exactly what you're going through. I know how hard it is to not be able to focus on anything else in your life. It's so hard to not think about him, to wish he would just call you and to wish things would go back to how it use to be when you guys were together. It's normal to feel and think that way after a breakup, a lot of people do. It's particularly hard for you for a couple of reasons: things with this guy was more serious then your relationships with the guys in your past, when it's not what you want and you are the one being broken up with, when you can't understand the reason why and when your already having a difficult time in your life in addition to a breakup.
My advice to you is everything happens for a reason. It's hard to go through a breakup and it might not seem like you will get better but I promise, with time, you will. Someday you will look back and realize he wasn't the one and your going to think why was I ever upset over him. Sometimes you feel like you don't have the strength to be okay but I assure you, you do. Get back to your myself by doing things that you did before you met him. Hang out with family and friends and stay busy to stop thinking about him. Gain back your strength by telling yourself he wasn't the one for you that's why he's no longer in your life. Tell yourself that you deserve better and you want more.
It's hard to understand why people's feelings change especially when your feelings are the same. There's so many reason why: they no love you, they love someone else, they don't want a relationship anymore, he's afraid to commit, etc. Relationships are difficult and time consuming and in order for it to work both you and the guy has to and want to commit the time. Whatever his reason, you don't want to be with a guy that no longer wants to be with you anyways.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): It is difficult to say why relationships end. But this last one has ended and there is no going back. If you accept it is final, it is easier to move on. It sounds as if he has made that clear. So you move on. Just know that you have to look forward, not back. Try and learn from each relationship, it will help you. You will meet someone else who is special to you and if you let yourself to out there, and don't get distracted by the past, you will.
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