A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to make a long distance relationship work. We've been dating 5 months; talk every day; text multiple times a day and see each other 3 to 4 times a week. We are still in that very "lovey dovey" phase and recently he said he loves me. Now he is going away for 4 months for work. Tonight is the second night he is away. He called me earlier in the day and I called him back tonight. He picked up and said he was out drinking with the guys and I heard him doing a shot. I told him to go have fun; he said he loves me and we hung up. But now I'm alone in my bed wishing I was having fun with him. I'm wondering what I should do to make this work? Should I just preoccupy myself with going out and having fun like I'm single? Should I nor call him at night? (better not to have something to be jealous of or invent problems that are not there)How do you wives handle this when your husbands travel for business? Army wives?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is coming home in 3 weeks!
We are still together. :). Can't wait to see him again.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2011):
 I'm in a full time LDR... we met and sadly live 2 hours apart by car so we only usually have weekends... and yeah it sucks.
I call my man every night after I get into bed so he can "put me to bed" sometimes we only talk for a few minutes but it soothes me.
I also am his morning wake up call... so we have at minimum 2 calls per day usually a lot more... and emails and sometimes texts...
keep busy, have your life, it's 4 months it will go fast...
but ask him if you can have bedtime and morning check ins... he may be too busy with work and such however. I'm lucky my guy and I have the ability to have flexible schedules.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): I am wondering why you would want to act as if you are single while you are not. Be careful not to destroy something good. Long distance relationships are not easy but if you think about it no relationship is. Trust is key in any commitment. Your guy seems sincere and committed to you. 4 months is a long time being apart but I think if you occupy your time with productive things, not just getting drunk in bars you will be able to bridge the gap.Him going out with the guys should not be an issue, as it is also difficult for him being away from you. Men deal with things differently than women. Show him that you are worth holding on for. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years and we only saw eachother 3 times a year as we both lived in different continents so I know exactly how heartwrenching it is to be apart from someone you love. Luckily things worked out for us as we have been married for 4 years now and have a beautiful child.
I think you should continue to call him even if he is away for work. Keep the conversations fun and light, so he has something to look forward to. Try not to plant any seeds of doubt in his mind by doing things he may not approve of (not that you need his approval for living your life, but mutual respect is important). When you are apart you are always are going to feel left out and that you wished you were with him, I cannot deny that. If you can be happy that he is not depressed and unhappy then it will bother you less that he goes out. If you love someone you want nothing but joy and happiness for them even if you are not there to share the moments. Your time together will come but you may have to wait a while. Men love women with character, so be strong and who knows, maybe some years from now you will be giving someone advice...
All the best!
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