A
male
age
41-50,
*eanHelv
writes:My wife and I have been married for four months now, and overall it has been great. However, I am in an argument with her over her bachelorette trip that she took with her friends before the wedding. I know that these trips are normal for both men and women. But I really feel like she took it all too far. She was gone for a week, which felt like a long time, especially right before our wedding when I needed to talk to her and my own trip had ended. She chose a resort in Vegas with my help (and her mom's). But her time at clubs and bars involved a lot of drinking and wild times according to what she has told me. I am also hurt that she went to a show with men dancing, which sounds a little over the top to me from what she has said about it, as well as a strip club on the way back home.I am upset that she was drinking and dancing the whole time she was gone (though she claims that they had down times too for shopping apparently). I also am worried that she saw other men naked and I feel insecure about that although overall I am a fit person.But I am mostly mad that she told me that she thought we should have non-traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties, and so I took her dad and her brothers fishing. This was fun, but I feel like she went back on our agreement without telling me. I knew where she was going, but she did not tell me what was going on while there. I also feel like I missed out on a chance to go wild myself for the last time. She says I am making too big a thing out of it and that I need to let it go. Did I miss out on something fun for the last time? Should I be mad or am I being "petty" as her mom says I am?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (16 April 2010):
WTF? Did both of you agree that after the wedding you were NEVER going out again? What about other people's future parties? Or, we're you looking to get laid (by someone else) before the wedding?
Are you NEVER going to see another woman naked again? No strip clubs, nude beaches? Come on man- lighten up!
You're letting this get to your head. Let it go, and build a working relationship with this woman where you have a mutually agreeable (not you dictating) relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): 'Did I miss out on something fun for the last time?'
how can you even ask that?
she's your wife, it was your last night of freedom.
you didn't have to just go fishing! she clearly didn't just go shopping. you need to accept she had fun & move on from it. cus yes, you are being petty.
i don't see the point arguing about something that happened in the past & can't be changed.
unless you want to divorce her over it, which is PETTY
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): All that matters is that you both had fun at your parties, and that you trust each other. As long as you know she was faithful I don't see a problem.
Your wife still loves you- it doesn't matter how many naked men she sees, she'll always love you. Take it from a woman, we might like to look at these men but at the end of the day it's OUR men we want to snuggle up with. She was celebrating her union with you and having a silly, fun time. I'm sure you had fun on your bachelor party as well. That's all that matters, it isn't a contest to see who can be the wildest.
Don't let this ruin your relationship- you are married now and that confirms your love. Just enjoy being newlyweds. Maybe ask her to give you a little striptease to make up for it? Let her show you what she learned on her trip, haha.
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