A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm confused. I'm gay, my best friend is aware of this. It's not really an issue. He's straight. When we were younger, before I came out, we used to watch straight porn together. Which I don't think is uncommon for teenage boys. And, it never went any further. We're very close and quite often he will stay at mine. And, we'll share the same bed. Again, not uncommon and it's never been an issue. However, recently I've started to realise he masturbates in the same bed as me. There have been a number of times when I've woken up to him doing it. I just wondered why? Is it purely he's horny and he thinks I'm sleeping? It just seems a bit strange to me. Could he not wait? What's going on? I would never do this in the same bed as him, as I would be too scared of getting caught. I'm not going to lie, when I've caught him, it turns me on.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): Probably nothing. I used to masturbate when my best friend came over, too, and I didn't even wait 'till he was sleeping. Had nothing to do with him. It's more like, friends are friends because they allow each other to be themselves. He's comfortable enough to be himself (uninhibitedly) around you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): OP here.
Thanks guys, I do find it a little creepy myself. Like I don't understand it. But, as I have said a part of me is turned on.
He will stay in my bed after a night out, or if he's been round at mine and it's too late for him to get the train home. I'm in student halls, he's still at his parents.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): Sorry I've got to say I laughed massively at the person who thought maybe in the uk it's common for guys to share beds...lol.
When you're young and have sleepovers (like 11 or 12 and younger) you share a bed with your friend, but that gets grown out of real quickly. I would be 80% certain this guy doesn't know if he's gay or not - he can't come to terms with it. It's not common for guys to regularly share a bed once you're older and I think the next time you wake up you need to make it obvious, get up and go to the toilet or something. Or just ask what is he doing as it's waking you up, it's actually a bit creepy he's doing that whilst he thinks you're asleep.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): I wouldn't be too sure that your friend is straight. Perhaps he assumes you are a very sound sleeper, but I do not think most straight men would not be capable of masturbating next to another guy, especially a gay guy. If anything, they would get up and do it in the bathroom.
Why are you sharing a bed? I don't think that's common. Maybe in the UK, but if so, that surprises me.
It isn't easy for everyone to come out of the closet. Some guys really try hard to prove to themselves that they are not gay. Unless there is a chance that you are wrong about his masturbating, to me, it sounds like he just hasn't come to terms with his homosexuality.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 Sounds like an idiodic thing to do to me too. He's a real winner that one. I'd get a new roommate if I were you.
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