A
female
age
36-40,
*ish87
writes:My son's father and i have been apart for about 4 years.. he left without notice when our son was a baby.. we have talked about getting back together many times but neither of us worked toward that common goal.. a day before our son's birthday he called out of the blue saying he wanted to come home and that hes ready to be a family.. im 23 and hes 29. In the time that we have been apart we have hooked up for months on end and then hes usually disappears.. im not sure that hes serious this time.. he moved to another state and his relationship with our son has changed.. hes always payed child support and i know he loves our son.. My question is does he love me?? How do i know that this time hes serious and really wants me back.. we made plans for him to come home and move in with me in about a month.. i dnt want to get my sons hopes up.. i dont want to get hurt again. i love this man but i refuse to let him rule my feelings.. hes been in and out of our lives for years.. how do i know this time is different.. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wish87 +, writes (18 October 2010):
wish87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u..i really hope he can give me what i deserve..i have spoken to him and asked was i what he really wanted..he assured me that i was..so im going forward..thank u for the advice it has really allowed me to view things from someones elses view point..so again..thank u
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Well you are on the right track and you sound very level headed so that is good. I really hope that he can settle down this time and give you what you deserve. Good luck and all the best for the future.
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A
female
reader, wish87 +, writes (17 October 2010):
wish87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis time i told him that this is the last time..he knws he will have all access to his son..even in the times we didnt speak i always sent him current photos and such things of our son..i really do hope hes serious because as i said..i love this man..not just because hes my sons father..i love him because he knws me inside and out..i love the security i feel when we are together..the fact i can share anything with him and not be judged..we have been through many things..i think of him b4 myself..i pray for him more than i pray for myself..but dnt get it mistaken..i can and will live without him if he cant give me what i need..i love myself more
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 October 2010):
You need to set some rules for him, tell him this is his last chance and that you mean it, if he walks out of the family home again then tell him you are never having anything to do with him ever again as he cant keep upsetting you both like this, im not saying to cut contact with his son tell him he will still have access to his son but not you.
Have an honest chat with him and ask him is he sure its what he really wants and does he really love you or is it just the fact that you are the mother of his child. You need to be sure aswell that you want him and love him besides that he is the father of your child.
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