A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey :) i am quite depressed and very confused about what I should do here. Please help if you can thanks. I have never had a serious boyfriend except for a few months last year going out with a guy, but that was very minor and relaxed. I'm not a very confident person anyway, and 'cause of my lack of experience, i'm really not used to guys liking me. But there's this boy, S, who is a year above me at my school and he really "like"s me. I am beginning to think he has felt like that since I joined, because we used to be mates, then he turned kind of nasty and picked on me for a while (mainly verbally but he used to kick/flick/poke etc), and now he is just plain flirty. I'm not sure how to react, as I don't feel the same way. He often compares me to things that have just been called beautiful or cute; he goes out of his way to talk to me; he shows off a little. It's really sweet and everything but I don't want to string him along, because I don't want anything to happen with him. I also don't want to tell him I'm not interested straight, because he hasn't actually asked anything yet, and because it would hurt his feelings, and because I am very lonely and a little depressed at the moment: I've been in love with my english teacher for around seven or eight months, and I've hated myself for being just another stupid teenager to fall for their teacher. He is the centre of most of my thoughts, and is the main reason I go to school. Mr X has cause my self-esteem to go even further down the drain, and I have felt very alone 'cause I can't talk to my family or friends about how I feel about him. I suppose this is why I've appreciated S's attention, but I am a moral person and I feel this is wrong. I have no idea what to do if S asks me out, and I am clueless as to how to deal with the Mr X situation.Please help if you can, thank you xxxx
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Lots of young ladies have crushes on their teachers. You're not alone on that. Just let it be...he is your teacher, after all, and nothing can happen between you and him. It would be wrong.
As for S, let him be as well. You are right, until he asks you out you don't have to do anything but enjoy the attention. You are obviously a very pretty young lady, and it's sweet and flattering. There's nothing wrong with a guy having a crush on you when you don't feel the same way. This will happen to you plenty in life, and you'll be on both sides of the situation.
One other thing...you said thinking about Mr. X makes you depressed. Well honey, being crazy about someone who doesn't like you back is hard, but it's not worth losing your self-esteem over. Always love yourself. I can tell from the way you wrote your question that you are smart, and I can tell from how you write about S that you care about other people's feelings. Those are excellent qualities and you should be proud of yourself for having them. Don't put yourself down because your crush doesn't like you back, because there is always another guy around the corner who will! (In fact you have one right now!) Self-confidence will carry you far in life, and as long as you believe in yourself everything will work out OK.
Good luck.
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