A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a problem, I live with my girlfriend and my family and I'm worried about my sister - she's 18 and her boyfriend is 34. I already think this is a bit wrong but the thing is he's just got out of prison after being there for three months. The details are sketchy but he basically had been meeting up with young girls on the internet - under 16. The police set him up and he got done for it. Everyone seems to believe or try to convince themselves that he was only being nice to them and nothing more but I'm not buying it. He seems weird and controls my sister - he snaps at me and my girlfriend for no apparent reason. One night me and my girlfriend were sitting on the couch and he was on the computer - he's not allowed on the internet by release conditions. Me and my gf went onto the computer afterwards and went to type youtube into it and you know it drops down and shows other websites you've been on and it came up with youporn. Me and my gf had a look on it to check if there was underage porn because we know that site has all kinds of porn that can be uploaded by anyone. I couldn't stand it I personally hate porn and even if he was looking at adult porn it makes me angry that he doesn't seem satisfyed with my sister. She#s marrying him next year and myself and my dad are very uncomfortable with this. Theres something not quite right about it. My sister looks pretty young - younger than she is and she is immature. Why is he - a grown man with her? She should be with someone close to her age. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad under different circumstances. Should I worry that hes breaking his release rules and that he's obviously sneaking behind her back? She's talked about having kids with him - I would worry about them if they had kids.
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female
reader, Cindy303  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 This seems like a pretty serious situation. How long has your sister known this man? I dont believe that he is meeting young girls on the net to just "be nice to them". That seems a little off to me. I would sit your sister down with this information and at least speak your mind. Keeping in inside and just always wondering whats really going on with this man is only going to eat you and your family up. He seems like he has something to hide and thinking its okay to meet a younger person online and establish any kind of relationship is not acceptable or right. Any grown adult should know that.
Best of luck with this. Cindy
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 April 2008):
I do feel you are right to worry. They don't lock you up unless you have committed a crime, and chatting to girls and being nice to them is not a crime.
If he's on the computer, tell him "aren't you banned from doing that?" If he snaps at you, snap back. Push him a bit, let him show your sister his nasty side.
However, the more you try and show your sister she is wrong, the more she is going to feel pushed away.
You have to make her feel you are on her side even if you do not agree with her man choice.
Tell your sister you want to be her friend and help her, even if you don't agree with it. "Warn" your sister that he has been breaking bail conditions. Tell her a load of stuff about how they will be tracking his email addresses, if if they see he's been on dodgy sites he'll get re-arrested. The police do have some pretty sophisticated tracking equipment. Put it to her that they may lock him up again, so she has a word with him about it. I'm sure the last thing she wants is for him to go back to prison.
In the mean time, put his name into google news. That kind of case ALWAYS gets press coverage, you can find out what evidence was in court to get him convicted. Print it out and leave it for your sister to find.
You should also tell your parents that you saw him on the internet. If it ever comes to it, you are 2 witnesses that saw him breaking bail conditions, you have the power to get him locked up.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 April 2008):
 Do you know for sure whether he has actually had sexual relations underage girls that he met on the internet? Because no man in his right mind would meet up with young girls just to be nice to them, unless he was nice to them in a different way (If you know what I mean)!!!
I think you need to have a word with your sister and tell her what you saw on the internet. He is a very dangerous man and should be reported to the police.
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