A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, well here's the deal, I'm 26 and a few days ago, me and my sister were home, told her I was gonna leave with my friend for some work. After I left, me and my friend were halfway on the road I noticed we had totally forgot a piece of hardware we need for that work. So I turned the car towards home. I was gonna open the front door, but it was locked, thought maybe my sister was taking a nap so I don't wanna wake her. But I had the keys to the backdoor, so I got in by that. I noticed my sis wasn't in anywhere, told my friend to put the thing in the car. Until I checked upstairs for her. I opened her room, and found her blowing this guy. I lost my mind I beat the living hell outa him and threw him out our house. I got angry with my sister about that. THAT WASN'T THE ANGEL I USED TO KNOW! And now when talking to my sis she won't even respond. By the way my sister is 16.So what I'm asking how the hell can I fix this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): Ok first I completely understand why you reacted the way you did. But you need to understand that while she is your little sister, she is also a growing woman with sexual needs. What were you like at 16, I bet you weren't an angel yourself and you probably had sexual needs and desires. Yes her behavior was out of line, especially if she was purposely waiting for you to leave so she could get busy with this guy. But you have to know that it's going to happen whether you're around or not and you can't watch her 24 hours a day. Losing your cool and beating his ass probably wasn't the best idea, but when adrenaline is pumping it's hard to stop. Your sister probably feels like you over reacted and beat up her guy and that you're treating her like a kid, when she's doing things that you probably did at her age. None of that matters. The important thing here is that you need to be able to show your sister that she can come to you if she needs to in regards to boys and sex issues, and not to be worried that you're going to treat her like some little "angel" on a pedestal that has to remain a virgin til she's married. That would be a great ideal but it's just not reality these days. My honest advice, tell her you're sorry for reacting the way you did, but that you were just caught off guard and worried about her safety. Tell her you understand she's a sexual being and that you just want her to be safe and by acting the way she is right now, giving bjs, it will only lead to full on sex and you just want her to be safe. And tell her she can talk to you about it without you getting all crazy and flipping out on her, and mean it. Also tell her it's not cool to be sneaking guys in the house when you leave, if she thinks she's mature enough for sex, she can bring them over when everyone is home and see how that goes. I doubt she'll be trying to sneak this guy up to her room if you're there watching tv knowing what they want to do up there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): Write her a letter/email. Leave it on her pillow with a little flower or bear. "Dear sis, I love you and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'm sorry about the other day but only because you didn't deserve to witness that. You mean the world to me, you're a special, beautiful angel and you deserve only the best. Sis, there are boys out there who seek only to use and hurt you, they look past your beauty because they care only for themselves. One day, you'll find a man who treats you like a queen. But first, love yourself, respect yourself. Demand to be treated better. I'm a man sis, I know how boys think. If you're willing to give, they take all they can. They will promise and say the sweetest words, but only actions show truth. I know you're not a little girl anymore, you're a young woman. But, I'll never stop being your big brother and I'll never stop wanting the best for you. I love you very much sis. I'll always be there for you. Come to me when you're ready to talk. I promise to listen."
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A
male
reader, kevin3007 +, writes (2 September 2010):
 HELLO she's the one who has to apologize shame on her and she dares not to talk to you how funny is that you were trying to protect her and i don't think your parents would be proud of it she's only 16 man i mean what happened is from the past now and we all make mistakes but you have to tell her that what she has done was wrong and dangerous and you did that because you love her and you don't want any body to hurt her and she's way too young for this stuff so i think you should go home and have a talk with your sister head to head (you don't want to freak out your parents)and i am sure she'll respond i know it's hard for you but you have to make her understand that what she has done was wrong and unsafe......good luck bro
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