A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I find my sister quite disturbing, arrogant and selfish, and I am not quite sure what I should do about it. I feel guilty for thinking bad things about her. It is making my life intolerable to the point that I do not want to be around her anymore. She just makes my hackles rise. She plays on the fact that in our parents eyes she can do no wrong, and really does take the ‘p’ out of them.I have always tried to get on with her. I have lost count of the times that she has rejected going out with me. It is like she wants to have control. She has always refused going out to the pub with me saying that ‘she doesn’t do pubs’ yet since she has moved out she has got herself in financial difficulties simply because all she does is go out to pubs. She is such a hypocrite and wonders why I don’t get on with her. She does nothing but talk about herself all the time. I have given up talking whenever she is in the room because she thinks everything is a competition and about oneupmanship.I had realised that we were taking our parents forgranted, so I arranged a household chore rota which has been working very well. Anyway, my sister has come back home for 2 weeks and said ‘I am holiday - I don’t do anything when I am on holiday’ I couldn’t believe the arrogance of it. Of course, she usually displays this arrogance when our parents aren’t around to witness it.Since she has been back, she has had everything done for her. She even instructed me to vacuum her room when she left last time, and left 3 bags of laundry for mum to do which I was really pissed off about so I did them. She has done nothing in 2 weeks apart from slob around in her room watching t.v. Mum and I suggested that she cook the main meal for us in the day for the last week of the day as her part of the rota and she even kicked up about that. So conveniently she is now claiming to be sick so she can’t do it. I even heard her earlier instructing mum to fetch her a cup of tea and bring it up to her room which is two floors up.She has been lying to us about numerous things too - she has been ordering things on-line despite her financial difficulties and the other day promised it was the last parcel she was expecting. However, 2 more arrived today and when I told Mum she just made excuses for her.To cap it all off, my sister is developing ‘single white female’ characteristics. It is bizarre because she seems to be trying to emulate me in almost every way, yet she will diss everything I do and then claim she did it first. It is like she has no identity of her own so she copies other people. She has started watching a t.v. programme and listening to a certain band that my boyfriend likes yet has never shown an interest in either of these things before. She has started buying into a music genre that she doesn’t even like just because her friends like it.Yesterday, she was trying to rub my nose in it by singing a song at the top of her voice. I know she has a habit of singing the last song she has heard repetitively. Well, this was of a song on one of my CDs. I saw there was a gap in my CD tower and my thought was that she had stolen it. I did eventually find it, but it was like she was gloating that she had been using my things without asking.My sister used to be such a kind and loving soul, but since she has had counsellling for an eating disorder she has become deeply unpleasant! It is like this spoilt brat has emerged, and she uses her eating disorder as an excuse to act and speak however she wants.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): I am the original poster of the question. Believe me, I don't run around after my sister. The only reason I did the washing was because I felt she was being deeply selfish leaving it all to my mother. She is 31 years old for goodness sake! I don't cover for her either. I make sure my Mum knows everything that my sister does, but it all falls on deaf ears. As I said, my sister can do no wrong. We have this rota set up but my sister has exempt herself from it. We all believe in teamwork but she evidently doesn't.
I will certainly start doing a cross word when she starts talking about herself. She will hate not being the centre of attention. I don't bother asking her to the pub anymore - I've given up.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 June 2008):
Why are you running round after her then? No wonder she carries on when you keep covering for her.
Let her leave washing for your mum, and make constant demands, start doing a cross word when ever she starts going on about her self as she's obviously going to be some time, don't ask her out to the pub any more and don't rise when she does something to try and get at you.
Let your parents see what a brat she is and let her suddenly realise that if she doesn't do washing then she has no clean clothes. You are not letting her face any consequences.
She sounds like a typical 4 yearold. The only attention she gets is through the negative behaviour she does. If you blank it, and then make a fuss when she does something good, then she will soon learn. Watch Supernanny on Channel 4 - you'll soon get the hang of it.
Good Luck!! xx
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