A
female
age
36-40,
*ROM1S3
writes:Hi can anyone help me? My sister and i got into a huge fight over something i dont think i am to be blamed for. Its driving me mad and i ve been completelt stressed out about trying to come a a conclusion as to waht i should do in this dilema. this is how it goes ill try to be as briefly as i can.... My sis came over to the UK about a yr ago and she is currently studing at Uni, she is 28 by the way and i am 24. When she came up intially i provided her with a job and accommodation (leave in job) where i worked. However soon she had to over to the city which is an hr frm where i actually work. However when she was about to move she didnt really notify me as i was told she would be moving the following week, therefore i was unable to help her as i had to work ( I blame myself for that) Ok!! She cause alot of unnecessary trouble at work and it was embarassing as very one knew she was my sis and to be honest no one really liked her att. I work very long horrible hrs. work within the hospitality industry. I only get 1 day off from work and i make it my duty to spend time with her ok its about 3-4 hrs but i do make time to spend with her. My husband and i get into rows over the fact that we dont spent time 2gther as we only get 1 day off. She sent me this horrible text message saying" She dont understnd y i have to leave at a specific time when i come to see her and that she is sick of the fake life and she never ever wants to see or speak to me again Oh and also that i have nver done anything for her and that ever thing that she achieved was bcos of her. I do understand that i dont spend alot of time with her but the thing is i also need to spend time with my husband!! Now i am complelty stressed out and i dont no how to deal with this situation. When i am with her she makes surky comments like " she only goes out with intellegent guys" I honestly dont now wat to interprete frm that! My husband dont really like her much bcos she never says please and thank u every time we go out she never offers to pay or even her share, and wen he does she never says thanx and that annoys my husband. Sorry if this is long i dont kno wat to do. I havent contacted her in to days bcos i dont want to act to irrational. I always apologise to her but i dont see y i have to i have dont nothing wrong to deserve this. x :-( or have i... Im i as self centered as she says i am?
View related questions:
at work, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PROM1S3 +, writes (14 July 2007):
PROM1S3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI thanx Mandy!! Rythamandblues thank u as well.... I no that there s always to sides to the story, I ve apologised to her she hasnt replied to be honest i dont think she will( thats just the sort of person she is).The only thing that i can think of is me not spending time with her, I mean i do spend time with her but she needs to understand that I would like to spend time with my hus as well! When i do go to see her she is always so resentful and she never says anything! I always have to be the 1 to make conversation and i am so sick of it i really and. She and my other sis havent spoken over 1 yr now almost 2 yrs come to think of it. I dont no wat she wants from me. she says that she is all alone to a certain extent i understand but she needs to realise that she is a bif girl and that i to was alone when i first moved here and so is every one esle who move there from foreign counties!! Grrrrrrrrr i am so mad and stressed out!! But thanks guys for the imput luv x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Well, from your side of the fence you have not done anything to fuel your sister's anger and jealousy....but the thing is, speaking as a sister myself, there are always two sides to a pancake.
If your sister is single and still struggling to make ends meet, where you are not, she may be very sensitive about your happiness at being married, financially stable and so on, so as a gesture of kindness and sisterly love, tell your husband to stop resenting your sister if he willing picks up the bill, and he should not do it expecting anything in return, including thank yous....I know it would be nice if your sister were happier, and had the same things you do, but she does not...try a little empathy, and ask her what about your relationship that is truly troubling her, and instead of getting defensive, be sympathetic and understanding, and then apologize, even if you were wrong, be the bigger person...I think if you take the time to clear the air, and speak to your husband about respecting her more, then things hopefully will improve.
If not, then it is your sister's loss, and do not accept abusive treatment, call her on it at the time, so she understands what you won't tolerate.
Good Luck with this,
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): DARLIN,
You are not self centered at all, you have gone out of your way to help your very ungratefull sister, It should be her that comes to you to say sorry... You work incredibly hard you have a husband to spend time with and still you have done all you can....
I no she is your sister but she needs to understand you have a kind heart and respect you and your husband...
Leave it and let her do the apology...
Sweetheart you have done enough to show her you care and have welcomed her what else can you do... Not take abuse hunny thats what hope this helped a little TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
