A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:All I want is to feel good enough for someone, ever since I found that my boyfriend looked at loads of pictures of women with large breasts I've never been the same. I have quite small breasts, and have always been a bit conscious of that. But when I met my boyfriend I thought I was his type, but then after discovering his obsessive lust for large breasted women, I've felt very insecure, and I have tried so hard to feel confident again but I simply cannot feel sexy anymore. I don't feel like having sex anymore and I feel so inadequite, it's horrible. It's effected my confidence so much, I thought this feeling would pass, but it hasn't. Do any men actualy lust after smaller chested women? Has anyone else been effected in this way? And if so, how do you feel good about yourself again?
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (20 May 2011):
 oh wow...
you never mentioned that he made fun of you and joked on you for your breasts.
That guy is a real jerk off.
You did the right thing by breaking up with him.
A
male
reader, zcgby678 +, writes (12 May 2011):
Coming back to the questioner: I am sorry I did not know your BF compared you to other women and is addicted to porn. Otherwise wouldn't have let him off the hook so easily. I have one word to sum him up from your story, 'sleaze'. How can he devastate a girl's heart like that? If you dislike something about a woman's body, you should not tell her, keep your damn opinion to yourself and find someone else.
It is hurtful to be compared to someone else especially by your loved one. Guys, how would we feel if our sweetheart told us, 'their ex had bigger penises?' I know i would lose all my confidence just like the questioner. My dear, i am sure you will do very fine without a sleaze and your confidence will come back slowly. Here is a starter, I swear I am not pulling your leg but I DO LUST after small breasted women. And like I said before, they have better legs and asses compared to their counterparts.
All the best - remember beauty fades but dumb (bf) is forever! Inner beauty stays forever!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice given.. I really don't know why he has said these things and behaved like this as I genuinly don't think he has meant to hurt me. What I mean is, when I bring these things up and tell them it's insensitive and wrong for him to do and say these things, he acts like he appologises but at the same time does not see how this can effect me so much. It's like he just doesn't realise it's wrong until he's siad something, then it's allready imbedded in my head. I've made a doctors appointment and am hoping to talk over my problems and maybe I can talk to someone one on one to help boos my self esteem. Thank you for the answers, I hope I find one of those men Mishmash, I guess I've just not met any yet..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): Sorry to hear that...I underestimated how bad your problem with him was. If he does in fact compare you and he can't ejaculate during sex, it's not your breasts that are the problem, it's his relationship with porn. Seriously. It sounds like he's addicted to porn and I suspect even if he had a girlfriend with large breasts, it wouldn't do it for him. He's probably too used to using his own hand.
There are plenty of men out there who like small breasts. I've met them.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I think you have EVERY reason to feel hurt, humiliated and let down. There is only one answer to this. This is HIS problem and his behaviour is disgusting. You are no less attractive than when you first met him. In my opinion you met an awful pig headed guy and this has very little to do with your breast size and everything to do with his outlook and his disgusting behaviour towards you (and probably a lot of women he has dated in the past). You are right to keep your standards high and expect a lot more from a guy. With regards to your breast size I have small breasts and my boyfriend adores me. He also likes medium and big breasts but there is no obsession there. Your boyfriends behaviour is far from normal and considerate and I would be very glad you had a lucky escape from him. Have some time out and be gentle with yourself. Forget about this hang up about your breasts, in time you will see this is pointless. I wish my breasts were bigger but hey I wish my legs were slimmer and my ears smaller. You are beautiful as you are believe me and you will put this all behind you and meet a great guy before long and realise what an idiot your ex is and leave him to his pig habits. Love yourself and give yourself time. Do things that make you happy and be round sincere friends and soon he will be a distant memory....x : )
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the comments so far. And thanks Jen1689 I found yours quite insightful.. In reply to Zcgby678, I can blame by boyfriend, and I do. I was never insecure before this and I made my views clear on what I was comfortable with in a relationship very early on, he knew that I was most definatly not okay with tons of pictures of naked women and porn on an everyday basis, I do consider this an obsession.
Just a bit more information here.. I do feel I've been compared yes, he has talked much of how attractive his ex's were, and even mentioned their big breast size, to the point that it has left me in tears. I don't feel he's attracted to me, or maybe just my breasts. He very rarely manages to ejaculate during sex, and pretty much all of the time has to 'finish himself off.' I'm not a prude and I've done many things in the bedroom, but now I lack sex drive at all.
I am interested in knowing if some men do prefere and lust after smaller breasts, because I don't think it's fair pairing up with someone that isn't physically your type. I personlly don't have a type, but if I wasn't sexually attracted aswell as mentally attracted to someone, I wouldn't pair up with them. This is not because I'm shallow, it's because I wouldn't want to make them feel inadequite like this has left me feeling.
I know some may say 'he chose you not the big boobed woman..' But no one wants to feel second best. He's made jokes in the past about my breast size, and even told me that he used his imagination whilst sleeping with me.
I have broken up with him as of yesterday, I cannot stay with him when after the hurt this has caused me. I am just hoping I will build up my confidence again and find someone that finds me attractive the way I am.
I was mainly just wondering if anyone had similar experiences and how they got over it?
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (11 May 2011):
 Unfortunately, nothing anyone says on here is going to help bring your confidence back. If it makes you feel ANY better, guys tend to "lust after" or focus on whatever their girlfriend DOES NOT have. Otherwise, they'd never look at porn because they would have it right there all the time, right? For instance, my fiance likes big boobs, but I actually have a 32C cup, so my breasts are actually quite large. Surprisingly, though, he watches porn of girls with larger butts, which I don't have. He doesn't "lust" after them, so-to-speak, but he's interested in watching them because it's not something he sees everyday.
You need to remember that, while guys are very visual, they don't always pursue or ONLY find attractive girls that have aesthetically pleasing qualities. A girl can be a total knockout but be a complete bitch, or have no personality, so guys aren't attracted to her in the slightest. It's YOU that he finds attractive. If you happen to have big boobs, cool. If not, I'm sure he loves you just the same. Just accentuate what you DO find confident about yourself: your legs, your shoulders, your neck, your arms, etc. Buy some new outfits that show off what you find "sexy" about YOU. You're perfect the way you are, and that's why he's with you. No girl is ever going to COMPLETELY satisfy a guy's curiosity, which is why it's called curiosity. If you had larger breasts, he might be watching porn of a girl with smaller breasts. Just some food for thought =) Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I can't vouch for men's tastes. Most men I've come across have told me big breasts are a bit overwhelming and they prefer smaller ones. And some obviously like to fantasize at a safe distance about big ones like your boyfriend...or lesbian sex....or bondage....or whatever.
If you have a sex with him regularly, I wouldn't worry about his taste in porn. It's just fantasy. It might not be an obsession, it might be a flavor of the month. When he's watching porn, he's not comparing your breasts to what he sees on the screen. And when he's with you, I doubt he's comparing your breasts to what he saw when he was looking at porn.
Otherwise, the most troubling part of your post is this:
"All I want is to feel good enough for someone"
I can tell you that ambition is far too low. Feel good enough for yourself. You are letting your insecurities get the best of you.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (11 May 2011):
The fact of the matter is, he probably likes both!
However, I am going to compare it to penis size. In an instance where a girl says I am not the biggest, when I ask, I don't feel inadequate, I strive to perform. I have always been the best person at sex, hands down, no exception, every time, so on so forth.
If you are one of those people that feels, "Well, damn it, I don't want to be the one that is being dated in spite of..."
There is no in spite of. He likes your breasts. I like slapping big boobs around etc., but I like girls with smaller breasts more.
It is kind of like dating a girl that talks to a bunch of guys. Should I give a shit? No! Why? Because she is choosing to date me.
There are plenty of big boobs out there that he could date, believe me. However, he chose you. Not a big titted blonde, but you.
You are the only one that views yourself as inadequate, not him.
This is a battle that is within you. You will always find an inadequacy in yourself, until you learn to appreciate who and what you are. Your boyfriend has.
And yes, to answer your question about men lusting after small breasted women. Keira Knightley, angelina jolie, kate hudson, liv tyler, amy smart, jennifer aniston (B's), etc.
Brad Pitt married two of those women, by the way.
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A
male
reader, zcgby678 +, writes (11 May 2011):
You can't blame your BF. He has a certain 'thing' for big boobies as do many men. Equally, there are a large number of men who adore small breasts. And I happen to be one of them. I admit big breasts do look nice but small breasts are far more practical esp. as a woman goes through life. One other thing i have discovered is that, there is a correlation between small chests and (nice curved legs plus a great ass). So far i have yet to be proven wrong. So all you ladies out there with small boobs, feel sexy, you probably over compensated elsewhere!
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