A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years and I were about to go into a restaurant/bar when he saw his ex wife's car in parking lot and didn't want to go in! I was mad bc it seemed like he was afraid or embarrassed to have her meet me. She is in a relationship and was probably with her new man. He was clearly very uncomfortable about seeing her which I don't get bc they are on good terms and he sees her occassionally - but never w me. Does this mean he has unresolved feelings for her? Was I right to get upset?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): No it doesn't necessarily mean he has feelings for her. I am divorced (my choosing), and I am most definitely over my ex. In fact I have not seen him since we split (over 2 years ago). If I saw his car some place I would avoid it too just so I wouln't have to put myself in an awkward situation. I would think that if he still had feelings for her he would, as TimmD said, probably WANT to go in to see her.
I am not saying that you don't have a right to your feelings, just please don't assume he still has feelings for his ex....he may have just been saving everyone an awkward situation.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): He was maybe thinking of your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): I think that you do have the right to be upset. It seems as if he still cares about her feelings and not even taking yours into consideration. If she has moved on then why can't he show her that he has moved on as well and be seen with you. I too am in that situation, I love my boyfriend, but its like the ex is in the way. I explained how I felt and he has started to make changes gradually, but he still hasn't taken me around her. Express how you feel to him and see what happens. If he sees her alot then you're just gonna have to find some kind of peace if you want to maintain your relationship. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (10 August 2010):
 It does not necessarily mean he has unresolved feelings for her. Often, if a man in his position still had feelings he'd WANT to see her, not the reverse. You can be on good terms with an ex but still not want to be around them at the same time. I can tell you that I'm on good terms with an ex but if I ever see her out I really don't want to get involved with a conversation or even just be around her.
Personally, to me my ex is in the past. I've moved on. And no matter how friendly we may be to each other, my wife is my present (and future) so I really don't need to revisit the past. Not going into a bar/restaurant because I saw her car outside is a little bit over-the-top, but I can agree with his feelings of not wanting to be subjected to that situation.
If he's given you no other indication that he has unresolved feelings, then don't look too far into this.
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