A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 21 yrs old and uptill a few months ago had blocked out being raped twice by my partner while i was pregnant, to be honest throughout the pregnancy i was num so didnt really know how to eel but now i'm getting stronger and my confidence is comming back i cant forget nor forgive him for what happened, u see i'm still with my partner, i do really love him and at the time he did this to me he was going thru a really rough time he was abused by his father and for sum reason me being pregnant and vunrebal made all his bottled up feelings come out, he wasnt violent or nething but he just didnt stoped when i asked him too, and now i cant let him near me i can kisss and cuddle but as soon as he's penis comes near me i freak out, should we stay together?? i love him so much and he loves me and has donw everything he can to show me how sorry he is, i want to try and sort things out between us but dont know where to start, he counceling for his problems an is such a sweet and tender guy i trust him but not wih letting him close becaus ei cant get oveer the fact it happened twice,
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I think that what happened is wrong - i think you know this and it hurts - he gives you everything else you need, but you still feel the pain of it. What are you going to say when it happens again?
you have three choices in my view;
-sort it out - either go and get proper counselling you for your trauma and him for being a wotsit. then both of you for the relationship.
- let it stay as - is with the prospect it happens again and again and each time you loose a bit of you.
- dump him - he is not that into you, if he cant respect you. this is the option i would choose. There is no excuse for rape. None.
I know its tough - you have to choose. i know it doesn't make him a bad - bad guy, but blimey, where is the line.
Star.x.
A
female
reader, funkechicken +, writes (25 April 2009):
We have a little boy together, i dont know what to do, if my boy wasnt here i wouldnt be, i can't talk to my partner about how i feel because altho i know when it happened he wasnt really there he is still the person that did it, he's tried so desperately to do everything to say sorry, and i do trust him with everything else, in one sense i think spliting up would be better because i could try and sort my head out but i'm so scared of being alone i really dont think i could make it honestly, sumtimes i just go into a little whaite room in my head and switch off in that room nothing can hurt me and its like it never happened
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I don't think that you will ever feel completely comfortable with this man, he took you when you were most vulnerable (pregnant) ,hmm maybe he's not what you need right now, but remember it's up to you!
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