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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi. me and my partner are living apart we have a daughter he has always been tight with his money.we split up for a while because he was controlling and seems to have very little interest in our daughter he will spend time with her but it usually is when shes at her grans which is where he is living and even then its a quick game before he goes to the pub. he gives me 100 mth maintenance not a penny more and will make any advance a huge problem but he will .he often say things like you only want me for my money he knows im very proud and it really pains me to ask but i work part time i got onto loads of debt while on benefits if i do extra hours it effects the tax credit,bill debt not luxury debt my boss at work has been a massive help and support to me and has helped me reduce my debt, but my partner has offered no help at all im at braking point and am really trying to hold myself together he is full of advice which seems to make me feel useless im having a visit from the bailiffs tomorrow for 250 pound he ses he wont help out of principle. and he wants affection and sex but he knows how scared i am but wont help,we are trying to give it another go. is he right to say "i don't live with you its not my responsibility" i need advice pls i haven't got the strength to give him the constant affection he craves he is adding to the stress with requests for sex and affection with no offer of real help.. yet he comes across very caring until i ask him for something so adds to my confusion pls pls help------[Mod note: Thank you for sending your question to Dear Cupid. In the future, could you make it easier fr the moderators and the readers by using sentences and breaking down into paragraph - thus making it more "reader friendly"]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): First ov all, it takes two people to make a child. Your daughter is as much his responsibility as she is yours. He is a cop out. He isnt willing to step up & take care of his daughter financialy or emotionaly. He sounds like a sellfish person who thinks only of himself. In all honesty you & your daughter are probably better off without him. I am a single mother myself so i understand. Tell him a few truths. Do not hav sex with him. Break it off & only associate with him if its absolutely nescesary. U & your daughter deserve so much better. Goodluck in life & love xo
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