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female
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*mmie Lou
writes: I have been with my partner for almost a year now - I am totally in love with him. Neither of us were the marrying type, however he proposed at 4 months into our relationship. We are both very happy - Well I thought we were. Recently I have found him to be texting his ex-girlfriends in a sexual context. We've had a heated discussion about this and he has assured me it has stopped. He also is emailing strange girls on email, of which I'm sure is also sexual. He cannot admit to them that he is in a relationship, let alone that he is getting married next year. I have since found that he has been searching on the internet for local prostitutes and brothels. I have not confronted him regarding this at the moment, but I'm increasingly feeling as though I'm not good enough for him. I don't feel as though he has cheated, although I'm becoming increasling worried that it will happen after the searching for the prostitutes. He says that he loves me and that it was his way of retaining his bachelor hood as he feels scared of getting married. I too am scared of the huge commitment as its not something I had thought of bfore I had met him. We are sexually active and do everything that he wants. He tells me I'm the best he's ever had - Yet he is still searching for something else. I don't want to lose him, but I know that if he does cheat on me I will end it. Please help me sort this out with him. Thank you E.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2005): hey, this is a bit too close to home for me. My fiance just got sprung for texting his ex in sexual way. He declared his love for her in the messages while telling her what he'd like to be doing to her in the sack! Yet he denies the content meant anything. He says he loves only me...... I believe him but have too much self respect to make a life with a cheating liar......
So, sadly in this case I will depart back to Oz from the UK and recommence life there as a single mature woman who expects honesty, loyalty and love from a life partner.
Lifes tough sometimes but I give my best and expect the same back - I know my heart will heal eventually
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2005): I know that you love this man, but you have to do this for yourself-get out of this relationship. He proposed to you, which should mean that he wants to commit to you for the rest of his life. Obviously this is not the case. I have been in a similar situation. My ex-boyfriend and I lived together for over two years. The entire time we were together I found out he was still e-mailing and talking to his ex-girlfriends and telling them how great they were and how he'd still like to be with them for casual sex. Then I found out that he had registered to meet single girls in our area. I felt like I was constantly trying to win his attention, wasn't I good enough for him? Of course, he assured me over and over that he loved me, and he wanted to be with only me. It took me a long time to finally leave, but I am SOOOO glad that I did! I am now married to the most awesome guy in the world, and he has never even MENTIONED his ex-girlfriends! He has NEVER done anything to make me feel even remotely jealous or unsure of his love for me. Trust me, there IS someone better for you, and although it may be hard to leave now, don't settle for someone that does not make you feel like you are the most perfect girl in the world, because they are out there!!!!!
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (11 July 2005):
Address him about what you found on the internet and make him explain himself.You are in the right on this one.Tell him you feel worried that hes going to cheat.If he doesnt listen, or this behaviour continues, dump him!
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