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female
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anonymous
writes: my partner 34 whom i have lived with for 5 yrs has been emailing another woman. i found this out when i looked at his emails. (he never told me)i confronted him and he confessed to emailing her for the past 3mths however insists that its just friendly banter. However iv also found that he has her address beacause he sent her a birthday card. my question is should i be worried about this? Should i be questioning our relationship? Why would he do this? what should i do?Should i email her pretending to be him to find out wots going on? He has promised never to go on the internet again only on my password if needbe.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2006): Hi
I have had a similar experience wiyh my female partner. She was emailing a male work colleague for 2 months and for a while she was texting him and sent him photos and a video message. She also for a week progressed to emailing him from her private address. I found it all out after I discovered she had sent him a birthday present that she had spent time getting off ebay (although not expensive).We have altimate trust as I believe in that and of course I was very hurt. She maintains that it was purely the thrill of emailing and the addiction not the person himself that urged her to do it and she is extremely sorry. I have said that we can move on from it and learn from it but I will always have it in the back of my mind and part of me will always be on guard, perhaps you should do the same. My relationship with her is very special and I am confident that no sexual relationship of any kind took place so I can put it behind me.
Good luck with yours.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): He definitely needs to stop. The thing about these friendships is, they can get out of hand and your partner could end up sharing more with her than you. It's always quite exciting to chat with a new woman but it isn't the actions of a man I'd like to know. Don't pretend anything, be honest with him, talk together about the hurt and worry your feeling. If you are brave show him this page, then he'll know we think he is potentially risking everything. Sharing chats with someone else and sending her birthday cards is not right for you both. It hurts.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 May 2006):
 It is a good sign that he has promised to respect your feelings on this. I wouldn't pretend to be him. If you have seen the emails then you know what the content is and you can make a judgement on that.
Also I wouldn't question your relationship as such but I would try and find out if there was anything that your partner felt was missing. Maybe try and spend some special time together and renew your relationship? Hope that helps.
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