A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll really try to make this short. I have an old friend from high school (we are now in college) who has recently given me his number via facebook so we can talk and catch up. Lately we've been texting and the very first day we talked a lot about high school and what we're doing now, he said he is still attracted to me, and would like to hang out to see if he still feels as strongly about me as he used to. That was all fine and sweet, until he started taking the conversation into a very sexual direction and was asking certain questions and making inferences that I should hook up with him when he comes to visit me (he knows I'm a virgin though). I'm not sure if he's really going to come visit me though. The thing is, I don't know if he truly still likes me or is trying to take advantage of an old friend and get what he wants out of the situation. Since that day, he continues to text me and say hello and see how im doing but he wont say much more than that. I asked him to skype last night, and supposedly he was too busy to do so, but I hope that's the case and not him trying to avoid a real conversation. He goes to a military college and there's barely any girls there and he says the ones that are there aren't cute or something. I hope he's not trying to fall back on girls he knows from high school in order to "get some." Does that sound like what's going on here or am I reading too much into it? Please, I would love some advice!
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 yes he definitely wants to hit it! when guys talk to you about sex and hooking up this is a very clear indication of what he wants. you don't talk 'sex sex sex' then come to your place just to drink coffee!
does he seem interested in talking about other stuff or does he always turn the convo to sexual matters? be wary of this guy EVEN IF HE CHANGES HIS TACTICS AND STARTS BEING NICE - make sure you don't have sex with him until you have built up a relationship and you are as sure as you can be that he actually cares about you, not just sex
x
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 August 2011):
 In this situation, your gut instinct is the correct one.
He's not talking about seeing you or getting to know you. He's talking about "hooking up" and sex. If he were truly talking about a relationship, he wouldn't be trying to get you to agree to a guaranteed sexual encounter on his visit with you.
He's wanting a booty call. In short, he wants to use you. Your virginity is more important than that. He isn't interested in you except to use you as a receptacle for his semen, and then he'll drop you. Sorry to be blunt, but I have the feeling that this is your gut instinct all along.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2011):
 I think you should be straight forward with him. Also, did you used to have feeling for him?
The whole he wants to see if HE still has feelings for you blah blah blah.. well, it's fine and good if he does, but unless YOU feel the same what is the point? Know what I mean?
Honestly, I don't think you are misjudging him. I think he sees you as someone he can have sex with without having to be in a relationship. His excuse would be along the lines we are so far apart, it wouldn't work.
I would call him on it and tell him how it makes you feel. How he reacts will give you an idication of what he thinks about it all.
If you DO like him, I would take my time getting to know him all over again. And I would be very upfront with how you feel about sex/relationships. There is nothing wrong in not wanting to have sex right off the bat. Stick to your guns.
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A
female
reader, Alba5 +, writes (27 August 2011):
I think he's not being very respective of you if he turns his conversation to sex. As you say you are a virgin it may seem like a conquest for him to take it. I seriously think this guy is a player and being in the military is an overboost of testosterone and he wants female attention. Just ignore him and if he really cares he will prove it to you.
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