A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles I'm looking for some advice on how to tactfully deal with a clingy friend. I met my friend through work, she's 4 years younger than me and we have quite a lot in common. We have known eachother since September. She started popping over in her lunch breaks to my house if I was home, to visit myself, my husband and daughter and we honestly didn't mind. It quickly became habit once maybe twice a week which I didn't mind. All of a sudden it became more often, and she started comming over in her time off as well uninvited and just turning up out of the blue. She came over a couple of weeks ago and got " drunk " on half a bottle of wine that she had fetched with her so had to stay. I'm not drinking at the moment as I'm expecting my second baby so I don't know why she bought it! I have had repeated calls and texts 7-10 Times a day for the last 2 week's. Iv also had drunk calls off her saying she's upset and crying because of her depression. I'm trying to be supportive as she's only a kid really and far from home by herself.iv offered to help her arrange help with a Dr or counciller but she just brushes it off the next day saying she's fine. I was in Hospital after a threatened miscarriage last week and she demanded why I didn't ring her and got quite angry. Thank God my baby is ok but ever since this happened she's become more intense and I just can't cope. My husband has had enough and was very upset last night as she came over uninvited to help me bath my 2year old and put her to bed. Ffirstly I'm capable of doing it myself and if not daddy's more than capable of helping. To make matters worse I had to step in when she tried to whisk my crying baby away upstairs to bed without even being cuddled by me.she left stait after because I told her she was over stepping a bit but then she rang me and hour later!! I think she's a lonely young woman but in my current state I'm not equipped to give her the attention she obviously needs I don't want to hurt her but what do I do!
View related questions:
drunk, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (2 December 2014):
 Given that the two of you work together you'll have to handle this diplomatically, but it's up to you to set boundaries. Decide how much you want to see of her in your home (if at all). Explain (in a kind way) that she is disrupting your family life, and that she can no longer drop by unannounced. When she does (as she surely will), don't let her in -- stand on porch with her and and reiterate that it's not a convenient time for her to visit. Perhaps make a standing lunch date so you're not cutting her off completely.
She sounds like the sort of person who will take and take. If you don't set and enforce boundaries with her things will only get worse.
A
male
reader, lifesgreat +, writes (2 December 2014):
since September this year?
you are being very nice to her and it sounds as if you and her are at different stages ie you have got a husband and children while she is younger and of course has much more free time.
maybe you should tell her that straight ( not that you think she is lonely) but to advise you need some time to your self and your family and she can not keep popping around unannounced.
But for somebody to get irate with you for not calling her back after 2 months of knowing them is bad ( also the fact you was concerned over your unborn child)
Its very kind of you to help but it is not up to you and to cause you hassle . good luck
...............................
|
