A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My mother is a clutter maniac. Ever since my father cheated on her and left the house, my mother has been collecting all kinds of things starting with napkins all the way to old pillows. I moved back with her because of unemployment. I also feel that she is very controlling and I am single again after being divorced 8 years ago now I am active in sports and I am trying to give English classes to my neighboors. By the way, my mother only has preference to my brother in law, when he comes to eat she will hide the clutter in her room... so she can provide "her image of society". In Mexico its all about that. Please help! I want to bring friends here and we have serious arguments to the point that I prohibited her to touch my things if she doesn't pick up her own stuff - do not deal with my stuff. I will clean it and I do every day. She says she only wants to help me organize so I can study. Isn't that ridiculous??
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (9 July 2009):
 I'm no shrink but this is symptomatic of obsessive-compulsive behavior, or obsessive hoarding, like the other poster said.
I'm sorry to hear about your father. It sounds to me like she may still be grieving for him.
Have you talked to your Mom about this? Say, Mom, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but I need my own space to study!
Perhaps you could compromise and she could keep the clutter in one room and keep the parlor and your bedroom clutter-free. You could entertain your friends in those rooms.
I'm glad I found your question, because I lived in Mexico and I understand that image is very important. I noticed that people down there are meticulous about image (that's a GOOD thing) but it's weird that she keeps the house neat for your cuñado and not for your buddies.
I'm like you, I'm living at home now (NOT for long!!) because I'm working and saving money for grad school. As a teacher there's no way I can afford a place and save for grad school... and it's hard to live at home after you've left the nest. I mean I love my family but I need my privacy and they do stuff that drives me crazy! I can understand your frustrations.
Que te sea leve...
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 July 2009):
 I could be the stress after you fathers affair have been a mental strain for you mother. Some people suffer from Compulsive hoarding. IT is now classified as an illness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_hoarding
If this isn't it, I just guessing she is trying to keep you single and alone with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): Some conflict I agree, and she does have a weird habit. But at the end of the day, it is her place, not yours. I'm sure she did not have it easy to raise kids or put up with her husband who left her. She even took you in when you needed a place to stay, why should she live any other way than she wants?
If you want to have a little change then talk to her on a mature, non argumentative level. If she is not willing to change then don't make it harder than it needs to be by arguing.
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