A
female
age
30-35,
*ot_a_stupid_girl
writes:Ok so I have been dating my bf for 3 yrs now, since we were both 16. When my mom seen our relationship was getting serious she took me to get birth control pills. The first 2 months I was on them I got really sick and my doctor said I need lower dose and that year we tried several types of pills. Finally my dcotor gave me Depo shots that also got me really sick. We spent the better part of a year trying different types of birth control. In the mean time my bf and I used condoms to protect us. Finally my dcotor gave me the vaginal ring. I didnt have any serious side affects from it and have used it for 8 months the one thing I have noticed since using it is the amount of natural lube my body makes. I am very dry down there and even itchy from time to time. So my bf and I decided the best method for us would be the pull out method. The only problem is my mom found out that we are not using birth controla and now refuses to le him visit. How can I make her realize that we are adults and can make our own decisions and that I dont want ot be sick every day from birth control?
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 December 2009):
 Sorry, but insults coming up...You are a very stupid girl, and you are not thinking like a mature adult. Your mother has been brilliant and more than fair. NO CONTRACEPTION, NO SEX, unless you have enough money to buy your own house and look after any babies that come. How dare you give up contraception and play these dangerous games. What is wrong with the condoms may I ask. You can't use the contraception currently on offer, go back to the family planning doctor and tell them the issues in you are having. In the mean time pick up some condoms, they are FREE on the NHS.. you are being silly and playing games with life. A piece of rubber will stop all of this, and then your mother will continue to support you in your romantic life.Your ungratefull, your mother is being brilliant, better than most and you should thank her very much.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (4 December 2009):
You're lucky that your mom lets your boyfriend come over PERIOD knowing that you two have sex. It is very disrespectful to have sex in the first place in your parents home. Your mom just doesn't want you getting knocked up under her roof. If you're living at home I'm guessing you're not stable enough to take care of a child? Your mom has every right, her house, her rules. If you want to have unprotected sex and not even use a condom (I highly doubt those make you sick) then move out.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 December 2009):
 It sounds like it's time for you to find a place to live. There are other forms of birth control that are not hormonal--not using any is just asking to be called mom. I guess your mother doesn't particularly want to have a grandchild living with her just yet. Maybe she wants to enjoy a home without small children running around? So the simple solution is for you to move out and then mom won't be able to object to him dating you. If you can't afford to do that, then you can't afford a child, and in that case, you should be more sensible when it comes to birth control.
By the way, what are the side effects of the condoms? I'm not aware of too many serious ones. You could try another barrier method like a diaphragm with spermicide. That's about the same effectiveness as condoms. At any rate, that's more effective than the withdrawal method, as that has a failure rate of 25 percent. So 1 in 4 users of that method will be pregnant in a year. Not great odds.
I think you might benefit from a fresh look at contraception options. Here are a few links:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm
http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/effectiveness-rate-of-birth-control-methods
So in short, the way you can prove to your mother that you are responsible adults and can make your own decisions is to take the next step, and house, feed and clothe yourself, and not expect her to house, feed and clothe your baby when you have it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): You do realize that you can still get pregnant using the pull out method? Obviously your mother knows this and of course she is upset about it! I bet she is afraid that she will be taking care of your baby in no time!
Go back to the ring, use some lube, and your problem is solved.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (4 December 2009):
Your Mom was smart banning your boyfriend from your house, she is just trying to make sure you don't ruin your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): if you were an adult you wouldn't be asking this question. You would have left the ring in and bought replense or refresh for vaginal dryness.
you werent sick from the ring but you are being completely immature and very cavalier.. after all you would know that most men release semen during sex mulitple times not at one big burst like you think. also you would realise that the rythem method is bull shit.
heres a story for pregnacy for ya.. after my first son... he was 6 months old.. had not even started my period... and guess what i got pregnant... with no cycle (blood to speak of )... btw... we were using the rythem method also.. because i didn't like the funky oder that follows...
that shows you how well the rythem method works.
so, i say go mom. I think she should keep him gone until you take responsibility to do the right thing and protect your self and him from an untimely birth.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (4 December 2009):
 If the birth control pills make you sick, think about how sick you'll be when you get pregnant from the "pull out method". Get back on the ring, buy some KY Jelly and stop acting like a little girl. You want to be treated like an adult, so start taking responsibility like an adult.
I find it funny that you want to be treated like a grown-up but still live with your Mommy...if you don't want her in your business, get your own place.
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