A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hiya, I'm a female teenager, who is experiancing exams, boyfriends, kisses, mates, and firsts all at once. My mum is always trying to nose in on what I'm doing, and often tries to ask me about the gossip. But I don't want to share my whole life with her. I feel like I'm finally developing a life of my own and every single thing doesn't include her. She didn't tell her mum everything until about 10 years later. Also, it's not like I don't have anyone to turn to. I've got really good mates who give really good advice and we're really close. She complains to me that I don't tell her everything, but when ever she catches me and asks me I'm always preoccupied either with my mates falling out, revising, or boys, and always go into my room to try and just chill, and relax. Think things over in my head. But my mum wants to be there knowing everything thats going on. I've heard her talking to her friends saying that I'm too distant and never spend any time with the family, and I know I don't, but she's making me out to be a really bad person, and I'm not. I just don't think that she has to know everything that's going on, whether it be to do with other people or me.What should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2016): I know how you feel, my mom is like that to. I know she loves me. My mom is not nosey, even tho it seems like it...she's not. See, it seems like she's nosey because she wants to know everything. But it is just to keep you safe, and not end up pregnant being a teen....she feels left out. If she secretly goes through your phone, then that is not acceptable. But she feels like you could maybe get your self into real trouble... She's trying to keep you safe. And she loves you. It's not that she wants to be nosey, she just wants to keep you safe, like I've said. It's not because she doesn't trust you, I'm sure she does, it's because you see girls disappearing on the news all the time... Shes trying to make sure that you're not the next to be on the news... So I think I've made my point.
A
female
reader, lca +, writes (14 May 2006):
my mother was the same i tried everything eventually i started going to her w/some things not things i didn't want her to know but some off the wall random stuff here and there and she slowly started backing off till one day she just waited for me to come to her w/mostly anything.no more drill sergant!she also trusted me more , i guess it made her feel more involved and made her feel safe. parents worry too much sometimes but give this a try maybe it'll work for you too!!good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2006): You SHOULD talk to her about this. Exactly what you said to us here. She may not like it, but then again, she would probably appreciate it if you did tell her.
The thing is, my mom wants to know everything that goes on in my life, but I told her a few years ago that there are some things I don't, maybe 40% of my life is in the dark for my mom. I tell her that if I feel that it would benefit her knowledge and to relax her worries, then I may share it with her. Otherwise, I like to keep things to myself.
That's it. The "a few years ago" was about 11 years ago... [laughs] 8]
I think sometimes, you should tell her bits and pieces, and also make it clear to her that you don't like her sharing any of your information with her friends and her siblings, because it makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes though adults/parents may wish to exert wisdom upon their children, I feel that one major thing that adults/parents oversee often is to respect their children's privacy. You have to make it clear to her, for you to talk to her on a similar scale as you speak with your close friends, she has to keep things to herself, and allow you to experience things on your own, with some guidance if she wishes to give, and that you will listen and consider it.
Of course, this will also have to mean that you yourself will be a responsible individual. Understand?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): Well all parents can be a bit nosey, some may just care too much we where all kids once and you have to remember maybe your mum didnt tell her mum because she thought the same as you but your mum is only thinkin the best for you and its only cause she cares and i am sure she loves you she just wants you to be safe. If you dont want to be telling ytour mum everything just assure her there is nothing wroung and you have not dun anything stupid and tell her u just want some time to chill. dont be to nasty to her parents hurt as much as kids do.
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