A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend wants me back. What should I do? He is 26 years old, I'm almost 17 years old. Our relationship was of 3 years. It was a long distance relationship. We met online. I broke-up with him 3 months ago but we still remained in contact on facebook. I changed my number. I broke-up for a reason. After 2 years he started ignoring me. I found out that he blocked me on facebook. I called him hundred times. He never gave attention to me. He never had time for me. He never really cared. When I found out that he blocked me, I made a fake account and asked him about his personal life. He said that he is single when he was in a relationship with me. When I asked him why he did it, he said he is a boy and he can flirt. I was mad at him and it really hurted me. I broke up 3 months back. We were chatting on facebook, he said he want me back. He said he misses me and he still loves me. But I can't trust him again.I feel like that he just wants me to use me for phone sex which is what we did when we were in a relationship.After our break-up I met 2 boys. 1 guy left me because I said no to him for sex, he was 24. And this other guy,he is my good friend. He is 17 years old. We laugh, flirt. We care for each other a lot. I like him. He likes me too.My ex called me slut :"( He said sorry for it. I didn't cheat on him. He flirts with all girl. Do I not have right to look for a relationship when I'm single? Is it wrong to date after your break-up? What should I do? Should I go back to my ex? My mind says don't go back to him , my heart says go back to him. :(
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broke up, ex called, facebook, flirt, long distance, met online, my ex, phone sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 You are starting to realise how important it is to do the right thing by you. Asking yourself, "is this really a good thing for me?"
And just talk to the 17 year old as a friend.
There is nothing wrong with having a few platonic friends where there is just friendship, nothing more. While you reassess just exactly what is good for you and what it is that you need in your life to be happy. Take it slowly and think through your needs before you consider a new boy/girl relationship.
Best Wishes with this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying...
I broke-up with him. I told him I can't talk to him on phone. He asked me to block him on facebook. I can't do it. It was really hard for me to break this relations 3 months back. We don't talk on phone anymore. He was the only guy whom I trusted so much.
This 17 year old guy who is my good friend he doesn't love me :( There is another girl in his life. They broke-up but he still loves her. I like him a lot. We talk all night. He is fun-loving. Its hurting me badly. I can't go back to my ex and I can't ask this guy for relationship. :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): Ok first things first, get away from the ex. cut all communication with him. If you keep talking to him it will only give him the impression that he can do whatever whenever he wants and you will always be there. Your instincts are proably right - that is he wants you back for the wrong reasons and he hasn't found anyone else yet.
Not to sound like a mom or anything (which I am)- he is too old for you and you should stay with the boy that is closer to your own age. Don't give up yourself so easily to any man or boy. Everytime you engage in something physical (either on the phone or in person)you give away a special piece of your soul to that person. So the question to ask yourself before anything physical is - Is he worth my soul? I know the trials of a teenage girl - been there done that. But let me reassure you that you will have heartache and you will be hurt until you find "The one" The perfect guy will respect you and will not engage in flirting or anything that will tempt him away from you and your relationship. The perfect guy will love you unconditionally and accept you for who you are. If he is truly the one then he will wait for sex until you are ready and might I suggest-Please wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): Stay away, girly. And the 17 year old sounds like a really nice guy. And he's your age! Ignore the loser that you dumped (a 26 year old going after a minor? Pathetic.) and you can do whatever you want with the 17 year old. Who is he to call you names for moving on? Good luck.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (4 September 2011):
You have got to be kidding me. You see what type of man he is and your trying to get back with him. They dont change, they just beat you worst later on. Get rid of the guy for good. You will get over the love once you realize that your worst something or someone full attention.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 September 2011):
Three years is a long time for a relationship.
And it would have hurt like anything to cause you to break it off.
You did the right thing to break it off.
And this abusive guy did not even show you the respect of a proper relationship. Wanting a teen under the age of 16 for phone sex is not acceptable and is not a relationship.
This guy is not for you. He has stopped you from knowing the joy of a truly sincere genuine friend.
Your Heart is telling your lies.
Your Mind is on track.
For a while enjoy just being a girl who is about to turn 17 and enjoy hanging out with a guy your own age.
This abusive 26 year old guy only liked you because you were too young. He was flirting with a dangerous situation. You were 13-14 when this relationship started. Although you probably felt flattered, and I bet he flattered you big time. Emotionally he was playing you and potentially being emotionally abusive. Thus you were far too young to be putting up with his tricks and his manipulations.
You were 13-14 and were communicating with a then 22 year old who is now aged 26. He is no doubt again persuing girls much younger than you. He is bad news. And you do not need him in your life.
Of course you cannot trust him. When he tired of playing with you like a Tom cat plays with a ball of string, then he cruelly just blocked you as if you did not count in his life anymore.
It is very sad that you had to endure this emotionally abusive man.
Three months ago you were lucky enough to find the strength to break it off with him. All Power to you for having the resolve and the Strength to do that.
Do not allow him any contact with you in any form.
Certainly he does probably want to still occasionally use you for phone sex. Put the phone down and refuse to play his petty games.
Do not listen to his words nor his cajoling.
His own actions have made the Alert Flags flutter in the breeze. He is not worth the trouble.
The best thing you did was break up with him.
Now go enjoy the company of your genuine friend while you reassess what you need and want in your life.
And make sure the list you make includes:
#1 No emotionally abusive partners ever.
You need and will appreciate a nice guy who is honored to have you in his life and treats you respectfully at all times.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): Remove him from your life and move on.
You said yourself you met a 17 year old guy who is a good friend who cares for you and you him - thats how it should be.
Leave this other man to his own devices he has no control over you what so ever.You owe him nothing and he sure isn't a friend.
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