A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, to put it simply, I have a crush on this guy whom I'm barely friends with. I'd like to get to know him better and maybe for him to know me better too, but I have a problem: I can't really talk to guys. (I think I bore them)Most articles I read online suggest "being myself" or "saying whatever comes to mind". It's not that I don't appreciate my friends' advise either, but it doesn't seem to be working. My mind would go blank and even if I could say something, it tends to come out forced, and my conversations don't end well. (to me at least)Just wondering if anyone has been in that situation before, or if there's anything else I could do? Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (4 February 2012):
 There was I girl that I secretly had a crush on in High School. She was pretty and we had many things in common. The problem was, she teased me in Junior High School.
It wasn't until we rekindled our friendship on Facebook some 20 years later that I found out that she really liked me and was waiting for me to make the first move.
Even to this day, I still wonder what could have been.
Don't let life pass you by. If you do, you might have a lot to lose.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): i used to have the same issue: couldnt help but be really shy and blank when i was around a guy i might fancy (and just avoid him at all costs because of that). To overcome that, one of the tricks is to forget how important your crush is to you (basically not care about him or the impression you are giving). You're putting too much pressure on yourself and are afraid to mess things up and end up overanalyzing every single thing which is why you freeze infront of the guy you have a crush on. Try to convince yourself that it's not important. I used to have 0 chance with guys up to the point that i "accepted" my fate: that i would be single my whole life, and so then that actually released me from the pressure i had created for myself and i was able to talk normally to guys and finally get to know what it's like to go on a date, have a bf etc.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2012): Thanks so much for your answer! :)
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A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (3 February 2012):
 I know you're sick of hearing this "be yourself" shit. Haha that's never what you want to hear, because being yourself doesn't work, as you said - yourself never knows what to say!!
But it's true. But by be yourself I don't mean be shy I mean just be kind and just talk to the person as a friend and see where it leads.
Up the game a notch, be a little complimentary, be a little flirty. :) You need to have faith in yourself before you go and try and flirt. If you don't love yourself who will?
Tell yourself you can and you will :D x
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