A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My marriage is in tatters - i always moan about money and in particular what he spends, when he spends it and on who or what. I am hugely jealous of his time, how he spends it, who he spends it with and what he does - we have been together 10 years, and married for just over three. He says I have always made him unable to relax in his own home.He says marriage counselling is too little too late - i can't help the way i am - what can i do??
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (14 May 2007):
Perhaps there is still a little room for salvaging your marriage.
You admit the problem so you need to deal with it. Perhaps you should sit down with your husband and tell him. "Okay, I know I have made mistakes, but I am finally prepared to deal with them."
He may say that its too little, too late, but if he loved you before, you can rekindle that love by seeking help.
Perhaps you should show him that you are serious about it by going off your own back and making arrangements to see a psychologist. They can be a really good tool in helping work through why you feel the way you do. They are not all about "and how does that make you feel?" like you see on many television programmes. They can really be a tool in helping you understand why you feel the way you do.
Speak to your husband and say that you want to give it your all but you need his help.
You have gone made the biggest and first step, and that is admitting your problem. Now comes step two, seeking help and dealing with the problem.
Even if your husband decides not to stick by you and moves out, to have any future relationship with a man, you will need to deal with it!
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