A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I would like to make it clear that i love my man 101% before i go any further! I'm not sure how to put this but I've been with my man about a year and a half and all is good but in the early day's he did cheat on me with someone but i forgave him and continued our relationship, then 3 months down the line he decided we should have a break, and ended up going with my younger teenage sister for a few months (which i forgave him for!), but whilst he was with her he was still seeing me and we got closer so i fort for my man and eventually he came back and now we're living together and life seemed really good, until i found out that some girl (another teenager!) believes he's her fella!?! Well when i found out i went potty but after listening to the facts, work out that she had just assumed that he was her fella, when in fact he just wanted to be mates and had only seen her the once with friends, but now she is putting it about that he's texting, calling, and meeting her during work hours, telling her he loves her, wants to be with her and that is looking for a way to leave me without hurting me, when i asked him he said it's a load of croc and he wants to be with me! So now everyone thinks I'm a mug and he's a lying cheat even thou HE HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG! So I'm asking for your help coz i need to know am i just being a mug,for believing that if you got a good relationship and a good man despite his mistakes, then it's worth fighting for!???! Or am i wasting time on a bloke that will never change? I honestly believed that if we work through this then our relationship will stand the test of time but people seem to think i have gave him a free pass to cheat, coz i forgave him! I am so confused as he is the love of my life and despite it all know he's worth fighting for, but at the same time i don't want him to think he can do it time and time again! To make matters worse i've got a family member who has become friends with the girl and keeps reporting back, after slaging my man down! How am i meant to keep strong when so many people have to poke their noses in!?! please can anyone help, or got any advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the advice but leaving him is not really an option at the moment as my children and i love him to bits and i do think he is worth fighting for! I've found over time it's not the sex side of things he does it for but that buzz/attention and the whole getting the girl to fall for him! I'm not sure why! He don't overly rate himself, even thou he is quite a good looking guy and popular with girls/women! I know he got badly hurt by his 1st love a years back and since then, he seems to have fallen into this pattern and struggles to get out of it! It's like he's trying to test me, to see if I'll hurt him. if you get what i mean! So running out and leaving him is not the answer otherwise how does that show i love him, and mean what i say if i leg it at the first hurdle, surely if you can see past that and all is great otherwise then you're a better person for sticking around and trying to figure it out! Then some times i think is it his age (26),after all i once read that most men are not ready to settle down until their late 20's, early 30's(I'm 30 by the way). It's not a case of me feeling low or think I'm not worth anything, coz i know i deserve better and i think i look pretty hot too! not like I'm vain coz I'm not, lol. But i am able to see past what he's doing and find the man i fell in love with and the good bloke he is besides this issue,and that is what keeps me strong in my love for him and it makes me want to love him more, but is there no one that has stuck with the bloke and came out the outside of this, or anything like this and it was worth the heart ache???? I use to dump a bloke the minute they spoke out of line to me, let alone this, but age as either made me soft or made me realize that if you believe in someone or something that bad, then it's worth fighting for! You don't find true love everyday and surely once you got it, you would be mad to let it go. Someone special once told me that love might be free but true love always comes with a price!!! Starting to think that maybe they are right! Anyway thank you for your advice and I'm glad that you've been so honest on your points of views, so any thing else you can think so please do get back to me. xx
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (23 February 2009):
 A leopard never changes its spots! This relationship sounds like its uneven, he thinks he can treat you like dirt knowing there's a strong chance that you will forgive. I don't want to offend you but you're being a mug here! Get out before you look even more of a fool. (Again no offence) keep me updated, sorry to be harsh but from what you have said in your question I would leave him! X
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