A
female
age
36-40,
*ichelle loves john
writes:My man thinks im not hot anymore weve been married for 4years and havent had sex for 2years i even got on birth control he still wont touch me unless we break up and he comes back crying and baging me 2 give him a chance cause i feel bad cause hes in tears then we might have sex for 2weeks then it stops for another year how do i go about this i realy truely love him i just want him to get hard over me not some porn show then play with his self in tha bathroom i need advise
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Aww man. Porn. Even he realizes that he's in a mess, or he wouldn't be crying and begging for you to stay with him, but would be indifferent and not caring if you walked out the door if he truly didn't think you were hot anymore.
One of the horrible effects of a porn addiction is that he's unable to have proper sex with the woman he has. He's so buried in porn and masturbation that that's the only way he can truly be satisfied. Given that, he no longer has incentive to make love to you because he has screwed up that part of his brain.
How much into porn is he, and what happens when you DO make love during the 2 weeks? Does he need to pull out and finish himself by hand? Does he ask you do do exotic things to him?
Your screen name implies that you still love your husband (unless "John is someone else! LOL), so maybe he's willing to get some professional help for sex/porn addiction and try and fix the intimacy issue between you two, but if he's unwilling, then you deserve much better.
His crying and pleading with you is very telling here. Maybe instead of a 2 week sex fest, he'll be willing to commit to something more life changing and long-term.
I also don't mean to make you feel bad or worse, and I'm certainly not judging you at all, but sometimes, guys have this sort of reaction when their wives gain a lot of weight. That's no excuse to deny sex to their wives, but if, in fact, I'm right about this, you can't go ballistic on him if he does cite that as one issue. And if it is you, this might be a good time, for your own sake, to get to the gym and get healthy.
I only put that last paragraph in to cover the bases because I don't know everything here. I highly doubt that you've gained 300 pounds in only 4 years, so I don't mean to offend at all and imply that you're to blame for his behavior, ESPECIALLY the porn. No excuse for the porn addiction, and you could be a sex bomb supermodel and he'd still be caught in that crap.
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