A
male
age
41-50,
*wuzAgoat
writes:I had an affair. We were both married, and we both agreed that we would get divorces for each other. We also live 1000 miles apart. She got pregnant from me (her husband has a vasectomy and knows its mine). But she decided there were too many problems with the relationship and went back to her husband at 2nd trimester.She has told me that I can still be a father but we won't be together. The problem is that I live 1000 miles away and I don't have a job and I will possibly be filing for bankruptcy soon.I was very upset over this situation as she promised to not do this and said she'd wait for me to move to where she is and got me all excited about the baby. (well what do you expect we're both cheaters). So I finally snapped and messaged them both, saying how she's using her husband and she used me and told him about her other affair.So she filed a harassment complaint which means I'm totally screwed. I had given up at that point and thought I'd never really know my kid so I may as well lash out at her. BAD IDEA!!(What really gets me mad though is that her husband was threatening my life and told her to get an abortion. He harassed her for months but she took no action to protect her other kids' relationship with him)I just don't see any positive outcome in this situation for me. We won't get along. I don't think I have the money right now to fight it. They live far away. Etc.I just hate the idea of walking away.
View related questions:
abortion, affair, bankrupt, divorce, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): Since you are the father file for custody. You will at least get joint custody. At least it will be on record that you are the father.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): Walk away, and get used to the idea... get your life in order, get your relationship (that's a SINGULAR word dude) in order. Either break up with your wife, or straighten your stuff out, and quit knocking up other people's wives.
Your kid will grow up constantly being reminded that it's a bastard child that mom got knocked up with while having an affair... really nice...
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Sit down and be honest with yourself about your options, although to be honest an unemployed cheater who is about to declare bankrupcy doesnt strike me as ideal parental material.
You may have to accept your only option is to build a long distance relationship with the child, with regular contact being through frequent and regular letters, cards, postcards and when they get older, phone calls, and for this to happen you also need to make sure your relationship with your ex girlfriend gets on an even keel with you accepting everybody else she has in her life, her other children, her husband if she is still with him, future boyfriends/partners/husbands if she is not.
What happens between you and your child very much depends on your actions NOW.
...............................
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Yeah it kinda sucks how love goes right out the window when there's a baby to feed, doesn't it?
...............................
|
