A
female
age
30-35,
*utofsynch08
writes:I think I am in love with somebody 30 years my senior. I finished school last year and have been on a break so my friends are all away at uni. He was always friendly to me, and we would e-mail each other regularly. The content was always upbeat, friendly and sometimes quite flirty.I got into a typical teenage mindframe and fantasised about him, thinking the attention he was paying me was because he was interested. Then he just suddenly stopped the e-mails with no explanation at all.I don't know what to do, I'm messed up in the head because it's so so wrong to have a crush on someone that much older. Plus it turns out he is married with kids so he's a totally no-go area. I just wish I'd found out sooner then it would never have progressed this far. How do I get over this guy and stop making an ass of myself every time I see him? (stammering and saying stupid things and just not being myself).He still gets in touch occasionally (when it suits him) and I want to tell him not to, but to do so would make it clear to him I was having a problem and I don't want him (and others) to think I'm some sort of psycho child. Help!
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a break, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, outofsynch08 +, writes (18 November 2008):
outofsynch08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi you guys, thanks for your advice. It's been a while but I'm over it now. It's probably not the best way to fix it but whenever I see him now it's with the thought "I'm too good for you anyway" going through my head and it lets me stay detached from whatever he says. Plus I moved to uni so am with people my own age now.Thanks for the reassurance I wasn't going crazy!!xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): I know exactly how you feel. Something similar has happened to me, but the best advice I can give is to just move on. If you've just gotten out of school, you still have a whole life ahead of you to find someone special.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): Hi You really must forget this man, and start filling your life with other things. He is just getting a bit of a kick out of your obvious attraction to him. He is a middle aged man,married many years, who likes to feel that he can still attract a young girl, to make himself feel good. He would never leave his family for you,maybe he would never even have an affair with you, but if he did, it would not be for love, but for ego. You would most definately end up being very hurt, and feeling used, which you would be. Do not contact him, and if he contacts you, then just send a flippant light hearted reply. You are feeling a bit isolated just now, with your friends being away,perhaps you could start to contact them more, are they too far away for you to meet up again? I really dont think that you are in love with him, just a bit infatuated and a bit lonely, its nothing to be ashamed about. Imagine one of your friends being infatuated by your own father, to get it in perspective. You are not a Phsyco child at all,just a typical young woman, dont be hard on yourself, you are fine, very normal,and you will get past this of him as a rather pathetic middle aged man, which he is. What are your plans now, after your break, start planning the rest of your life, it is only just beginning.
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A
female
reader, donna1971 +, writes (7 July 2008):
seems he`s the one wiv the problem you`ve been lonley and missing your friends he`s just playing with you to boost his ego.next time he contacts you just tell him your too busy and he needs to get a life and concentrate on his wife and kids.your young just put it down to experience you`ll be laughing about it soon enough even if you do feel foolish now.
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