A
male
age
41-50,
*ramp
writes:Hi I need help on what I should do; this is sorta driving me nuts. Story goes like this- in 2005 I met a girl who I really liked, after a while we were dating and in love. Everything was great. At the time I was inexperienced in relationships as this was my first and so I did not really understand girls too well. Anyway, because of this sometimes I would piss her off, she was also a bit neurotic tho, like most females. I did not know it at the time, but after about 6 months she started to occasionally sleep around behind my back. The second year together the relationship started to rapidly go down hill. We had little respect for each other; the spark had gone and the forecast was not good. But because I was new to it all, I was too dumb to read the signs. By this point she was also seeing someone behind my back. Eventually she broke it off. I then found out about her cheating, and she denied it all as we conversed over email. That was late 2007, case closed.Over 2008 I dated other girls but none of the relationships really stuck, and I’d often find myself thinking of my ex. I have dated prettier women, and they of course took my mind off my ex for a time, but soon even while I was still with some of these girls I would think about spending time with my ex. People have said to me,- she was a tramp, a serial cheat, and you only still think of her because you have not yet found a good solid relationship again, and that may be somewhat true, but I think it’s clear, for better or worse, I still love her. In late 2008, over a year after we had split I got an email one day from her.It seemed she had still yet to grow up and admit to the cheating, which made me think she was quite pathetic.. she also pointed out that now it was long gone, she had really loved me more than I would have believed and that she would have stayed with me forever if x and x was different. That bit I knew to be bullshit, but maybe she did still have feelings for me. Anyway, I did not reply to the email because she was still lying. Recently she has been on my mind again… I still have strong feelings for her, and it seemed that maybe at the end of last year she did for me also. I know she is a cheat, and I wouldn’t want to interact with her again unless she grew up/ started to change and apologized. I also learned recently she has a bf. I can’t really get her out of my head and I wonder if there would still be anything between us. When we were together it basically felt like home, like we belonged together. The sex was better than great and well, you know what it’s like when you love someone. What the hell should I do?
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my ex, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, cramp +, writes (29 April 2009):
cramp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx, the answer was obvious.
Just sometimes you need someone else to tell you as well.
Cheers!
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (29 April 2009):
 I agree with Steve S. She probably hasn't changed a bit so please don't sign up to be her next victim. Nice guys always think they can "fix" the messed up chicks but it never works out that way. You just end up being abused and abandoned again later. Don't be a fool twice. And P.S. if you stop texting, calling, e-mailing or contacting her you will finally be able to focus on one of those pretty girls that couldn't hold your attention before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): I think you should, as difficult as it will be, move on! You will be better w/o her!
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