A
female
age
,
*crambled brain
writes:Hi, my life is going from bad to worse. I am the wife with the text cheating husband. You might have been following my story. Well I discovered a couple of weeks ago that he's had a pay as you go mobile for the last 8 months after I thought the deceit was all over haha. Anyway, they are really forthcoming with info on pay as you go so perhaps he made a mistake!!! I've found he's been texting since last September when he bought it and 150ish texts in March but at least only one call even though that was on a flaming Sunday (which he said he didn't contact at weekends AFTER I found out about this secret phone and quizzed him...........he prob thought info on PAYG was unobtainable).The woman I spoke to also mentioned 2 picture messages in March and at first my husband denied it, claiming he wouldn't know how to send one but has now admitted it was 2 pictures of his new BMW which he sent her before I'd even seen it myself. Sorry, you would need to have followed my whole story to make sense of this but to cut a long story short, I discovered flirty texts last June/July and assumed they were all over until I discovered the secret phone. He insists they were all work related and he HAD to buy the secret phone to keep in touch over work problems he was helping her sort cos he knew I checked his mobile bills. There were no actual calls, only texts, since 1st March and I am getting some comfort from this HOW SAD AM I?!!!!! If you have been following, you will know we are still very much in love but how the f**k do I cope with this again (he is soooooooooo convincing he loves me and always has and it was only a daft bit of fun with this other bit (18 years younger than me and 'happily' married herself. I don't want to split up but am feeling more and more and more of a fool.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Hi, what does your hubby now want. Have you discussed couples counselling with him.
and NO , you are not a fool (sometimes we wives are though), but we love our men so passionately, so fully and so unreservedly. sometimes we get our hearts mercilessly gutted, mercilessly punctured). we try to learn from our mistakes, we try to be strong but we sometimes just cave in and try to believe the husband. In your case it is evident that you want to salvage your marriage. Just what does he want. To play text footsies with other women, to have emotional attachments with other women.
Do me just one thing - got out today and make your life a priority, make yourself count. do your hair, buy a new dress, do something new for yourself. Stop living in this man's shadow. Learn to be proud of yourself, and slowly find yourself.
In all of this you need to find your own happiness, find some joy, your husband has stolen your jest for life recently. Go out today and find and hold onto a new dream. I am not saying leave him , just saying make your life count. Because no matter how hard you try , you will find that he will not give you his all. He will not give you the peace of mind about his fidelity. SO, you seize the moment and live. You have noting to lose.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): as time goes on, you are finding out more of your "real husband". not a pretty picture is he?
what are you going to do? Lord knows right now because ever since you started posting it's been going around in circles. so much of lies, so much of dishonesty, half truths and betrayal. he has betrayed you, your marriage your lives together. and it just keeps getting worse. when will it all end? and will it ever end?
sadly, i don't think so. your husband has messed up big time, he has betrayed you so much. plse do not stick up for him. if you read your last post a few days ago, i said that i may be doing you a dis service by not telling you some things. Please read it again. i am sorry he has lied again but your husband has no morals, no respect for you. he is a serial liar, a serial cheater. the OW knows him better than you do, it seems. his friends also seemed to have lied to you about this OW. Who do you trust?
please advise him that you are starting counselling sessions with a qualified therapist NOW, drag him along even if he doesn't want to go. what a sham of a life he is making you to live. i have no sympathy for him. All this has draged on for too long. How does he live with himself? Very easily, i am guessing, he has you for a wife, who is willing to overlook his infidelity. Well, tell him, NO MORE. YOU have to be strong or he will destroy you, and slowly he is.
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