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female
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anonymous
writes: I would like your help and advise, or just even your opinion would be gratfull.I am 28, married for 10yrs, and a have a 8yr old son. 2 yrs ago i went into a chat site, all the info i added was false, name, age, looks, everything..After a few days, i got chatting to this guy called Mark, he was in the army, based in England. We chatted all the time on PC, and then we exchanged mobile numbers.A few months went by, and he was posted out to Iraq, all the time he was there, i was worried sick, what if something happened to him? When he came back to UK, he wanted to meet up, he told me he was in love with "me". I was starting to have strong feelings for him aswell, even though i was a fake person.Anyway... made excuse after excuse not to meet him, and we drifted apart. After a few months, i missed speaking to him, so went back into the chatsite, and made contact again. The feelings where still there, I was "in love".One night, my husband looked at my text messages, and thought i was having an affair, which i lied, and re lied, and lied to cover up more lies, We had a rocky few months, but i couldnt end it with Mark, didnt know how to tell him, so again, i kept it going.He told me he was driving up to Scotland to see me at Christmas, and i knew i had to end it then, he was going to find me, and then he would know the truth...So on the 15th December, i cut all contact, binned the mobile, and deleted the email address he had. After 2 weeks, I called him up and said i was this girls sister, and told him that she had died in a car crash, he was in shock, but it was the only way i knew how to end it for good.I have now been put on anti-depresants and take panic attacks alot of the time.Things are getting back on track with hubby and I, but i cant stop thinking about Mark...I want to tell him the truth, I feel like i need to, but then i think that that is only going to hurt him even more.What do i do? where do i go from here? I will never forget mark, but i need to move on from the lies that i told for over a year, i dont know what to do.....Please, can you reply back.ThanksJudith xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): Thank you too all who answered my question. :o)Things are going good now with hubby and I, we went on holiday together, our 1st proper family holiday, and for the whole 2 weeks, we never fell out once (a 1st for us!)We went out for dinner on friday night, it was me who asked him, something i haven`t done for a while, and again, all was good.I still think about Mark from time to time, but i am seaking help from my dr and i am finding happyness in my own life again.Thanks again folks, great help Love Judith xxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006): Stop cheating on your husband this soldier is only in it for one thing and that is to have a good time, he'll use you then dump you. You need to talk to your husband, don't tell him about Mark but just try to see if you can regain what you had. Do you really feel you have a future with Mark, you don't even know him, I think you are very confused. Stop cheating on your husband or you will end up a single mum, he will find out as your body language will give it all away. Don't think about Mark he will not be thinking about you, wake up don't be niave you were just a fling for him.
Concentrate on your family you will get through this crisis and you have made the right decision - would you swap husband and child and all those great years of happiness for this soldier, you've never met, mhe ay be a psycopath, married with 12 children or even a mad man. You know what I am saying makes good sense, stick with husband and child because I am sure they genuinely love you and you must love them. Don't confide in your husband as it will probably destroy him. You have to be strong now, focused on what you have. This is a clean start for you now put all this mark stuff behind you try not to dwell on it, as it is over. Get out more with your husband and give him the respect he deserves, he may wind you up at times but would you really want to be without him? The grass always looks greener on the other side but it hardly ever is. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006): You made yourself out to be a fake person, How do youknow this guy is not fake? You have to be careful with these internet things
You have a good hubby, he's stuck my you, even when he found funny message's on your phone, some people would give anything for a guy to be with them and stick by them.
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (26 July 2006):
 For some reason you felt compelled to go in and chat with strange men. All this makes me wonder why?
Why did you need that connection with another man? Why did you go looking for love when you were married?
I guess the big question is, What is so wrong with your marriage that you went looking for an out even if it was just a virtual one?
You need to get to counselling and by the looks of it marriage counselling too. You need to get to the root of this 'stray' find out why and fix it.
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